Porn received/sent by e-mail

I wondered if there was anything like that available.

There is no way that my husband will tell his non-Christian friends to refrain from sending porn.  I know this.  In their world porn is completely normal - but in their world I am pretty sure it is not as bad as how it got with my husband.

In fact - although I know he is caught off-guard by some as there is no indication that what he is about to open is porn...BUT a lot of them are marked as such (XXX or "men only" or "adult only"...etc.) yet he still opens them.

To me...a sign that he really wants to work on his recovery - would be for him to delete those ones and NOT open them.

I am thankful, however, that he has agreed to the filter.  I have to admit that there are always other ways of getting to porn - as it did this week. 

Sometimes I guess I should be happy with what I can get (such as the filter)

I am still working out the "bugs" of my emotions right now.

Hello,
I used to have spam email and porn also, either by friends or sites I visited.
What I do is I change my email address, and if there is still some... I report them as spam, and If I can I "block sender". I use Microsoft Outlook which enables me to block emails from the senders that I don't authorize.

Regarding why men kept looking "taking risk", I'm sorry to say that I do that too. Maybe it's pride, something about "my almighty will power", or something about "maybe I'm missing something good!"

But according to my experience, the best way to deal this is NOT when the email is already in the inbox, because by then the temptation is WAY TOO BIG for me to say no, (even though I should delete them, but I just sadly... can't... it's like I've become automatically... I dunno, maybe it's just me), but the best way is to block it before it came, so there is no temptations... dancing around in my mind....



Well, enough of me...
Praying for you...

Okay, I have a question... If our Hs are agreeable and are on the path to recovery... and I sift through the newspaper and get rid of the ads for bras and underpanties and such, and go through the magazines and rip out the provocative pages and destroy all the movies with sexual content, cleaning up my house... and he willingly puts a blocker on our computer and there is still stuff coming through the internet... and I know as a wife that he is weak in the area of looking at his friends e-mails... Wouldn't it be alright for me to delete those e-mails that I know have sexual content to help him keep his eyes sanctified... if he is agreeable? Then when he has been 'sober' for a season and is stronger then he can delete them himself? Doesn't that go along in agreement with being a help-mate? I know it can get over into control... but if the H is willing to receive this kind of help...? or is it more thereputic to make him do it all himself - even at the beginning of his recovery?

Just wondering.... 

Thank you for your replies everyone.  Good suggestions.

I guess if my H really wants to be on the path to recovery and he needs help in this area (looking at these types of e-mail) I would think that he might want to me help by deleting the ones that do not aid in his recovery.

I would love it if he could do it on his own - I would love for him to ask me for help - but I'd love a lot of things that just simply do not happen. 

guitarist63,

I dont have that 'send message again' option. I use MSN mail and can't find that anywhere.

What I've been doing is monitoring his e-mail through my e-mail account and I look at the ones that aren't obvious. If they're okay then I have to move them to one of my other folders and then turn around and move them right back to his inbox and they show up as having not been read with the original date and time received. I have to do this through my main account. The obvious ones I just delete. He pretty much gets his porn on the way to and from work and then trashes it or stashes it somewhere other than our house. His thing is, "as long as I don't bring it inside our home or on the property then it shouldn't effect you or this house." (Not even beginning to want to face what entities he carries with him into our home [or do they drag him around?], and that he is enabling himself to continue with his excuses and denial.) Me and my daughter both have seen them wandering around the house, or standing at the foot of our beds or leaning over us, like they're waiting for an opportunity.  I have to do a spiritual cleansing of the house and property often. 

He's not in any sort of recovery program (other than his trying to do it on his own and failing miserabley. I'm watching him crumble before my eyes - - each day more and more of him disappears into his fantasy world. He sits and stares at nothing and I know he just 'checked out' and went to La-La land for several minutes. He carries on conversations with his imaginations, gets angry with them, becomes arroused and tries to hide it, laughs with them and smiles secretly, stares at young women (20's) at church and walks out arroused- and they're in jeans and a nice shirt and jacket).   I don't want any of that trash viewed in the confines of our house. So I remove and destroy anything that even minutely resembles any sort of porn... magazine pictures, newspaper pictures, risque junk mail, etc. I have a 15 year old son as well and he does not need to be exposed to that trash in our home. I know my son sees this stuff at school - in the locker room... that I can't do much about... and that is where his integrity comes in... he has to make the choices.  And he and I have discussed it extensively. He has no father figure to go to (my H has disowned him and has thrown down the mantle of fatherhood. My H says he is a useless and lazy boy wanting to be a man and will never amount to anything without his help), so I have to step up to the plate and strike the ball, so to speak. To knowingly allow any of it into my home... NO WAY!  And to allow my son to walk out there into the world without knowing what is going to lanblast him  and try to destroy his marriage even before he has begun adult life is ludicrous! I even go so far as to watch any movies that are rented before I let anyone else in the home watch them. I only rent PG and G movies, but there have been a couple of them that I didn't find suitable for even my dog to look at. Movies now a days have so much bi-sexual and homosexual content in them, and anti-Christ foundations and inuendos, and they are X to me in my home. As soon as a hint of either come up I eject it out of the DVD player and return it. (I really wish a warning could be placed on them so I wouldn't even rent them... it should have something on there akin to:  Advisement - Homosexual/Lesbian Content - Malevolent or Prejudicial Anti-Christian Content.) And we do not have satellite or cable... not even an antenae for local channels.

Please excuse me, I have rambled on again and went on a few rabbit trails..... I just feel very strongly that a home should be a sanctuaray, not to just one person, but to the whole family. A place where one can come to after the dredges of work and school out in the world and all of its temptations and sirens (Greek mythology) and find rest and peace and the joy of the Lord... not all of this strife and illusion that we have to struggle through. Since the ministry that the Lord has given to me for this season is to my H and my Children, I consider it my responsibility to keep my home clean, as clean as I know how to with the Lord's direction. And sometimes that means I have to paly extreme hardball.

I know alot of people consider my actions controling, but how will I stand before God and say, "It was just a picture of a near naked woman in a bra or bikini, but my son was going to see worse on billboards... right?"... Do I train him up in the ways of the Lord, or do I just let 'nature' takes it course? Hmmm... I vote for the training with the Wisdom of the Lord.

In much needed and unmerrited Grace, decide2love