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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2016 8:22:38 GMT -7
I'm two days sober today. I find my self praying as I wake when I'm lying in bed and right before I'm going to sleep. It has seemed to help.
I want to make more time to read and pray. I just don't want it to become something I have to do to get on with my day, I want it to be like talking with a friend and making time because it's what I want to do.
I just want to stay sober for good this time. Pray for me guys! God bless!
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2016 10:19:21 GMT -7
You are in my prayers. I found praying before I slept helped me greatly. I am glad you have discovered that also. I too wanted a real relationship with Christ. To achieve that we have to get to know Him and the only way to do that is by reading His word. I learned so much about not only Christ but myself as well. Now I talk to Him on and off throughout my day and spend time reading the bible even if it is only a verse every day. We have to keep renewing our minds to stay close to Christ as our Lord and friend.
Keep turning toward Christ especially when you are experiencing wrong thoughts. He is faithful to give us What we need during those times of trials.
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KevinesKay
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Posts: 1,754 
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on May 5, 2016 19:44:08 GMT -7
I'm two days sober today. I find my self praying as I wake when I'm lying in bed and right before I'm going to sleep. It has seemed to help. I want to make more time to read and pray. I just don't want it to become something I have to do to get on with my day, I want it to be like talking with a friend and making time because it's what I want to do. I just want to stay sober for good this time. Pray for me guys! God bless! Dustin, That is such a great habit to form. Before I was married to Iris, it was in my "Night Plan" to spend at least 10 minutes praying right before I go to sleep, and at least another 10 minutes right when I get up each morning. I was struggling with MB at the time, and I found that this habit really helped a great deal in getting my mind on the right track. I participate in the narrow door challenge each week. Right now, I seem to be the only participant. I understand that some people don't like checklists, but I do. For me, I don't see anything wrong with keeping track of those things that I truly want to do with my life. Perhaps you might consider it. We can hold you accountable for getting your reading and praying time, even if it's like talking to God as a friend. I'm sure God would appreciate that. Good sharing my friend. Hope to hear from you soon. |
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2016 20:51:50 GMT -7
Hey guys thanks for replying. Today was a challenge, I found myself lost in thoughts and the enemy attackig bought life. Old memories kept popping in my mind. I refuse to give in to him. I didn't give into my urges but it was very hard. I' thank Jesus for barreling for me. Knowing I'm not alone has really helped. Thank you guys for praying for me. I will be praying for you as well.
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2016 7:01:54 GMT -7
One thing you might want to try is to memorize a positive true scripture and then when you start getting lost in memories you can say that scripture to those memories. We have a few threads in General forum that members give different scriptures that help them.
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2016 19:52:24 GMT -7
I'm gonna try that. Today started off bed, I felt like crap and I could feel the memories trying to get to me. I prayed over it and they went away. I recently have started restoring furniture and I find that helps keep my mind off things. I had a good long talk with God today and I asked if we could just start over and I apologized for the things I have allowed myself to do and thanked him for not being who I use to be. Things are looking up!!! Thank you all for the support. Checking in here everyday really gives me strength and making my self accountable to you guys it takes off a lot of the burden.
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2016 4:01:51 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2016 18:00:55 GMT -7
Braveheart thank you for sharing with me. I know it can hard to share your stories with others.
Today was a much better day, I was free of most thoughts today and I didn't feel a presence that I once did. However, I know the battle still wages on. I haven't gone to church in about a month. The church we go to is on Saturday nights but I have started to really question the religiosity that I have found in organized religion here in the US.
I really wish I could experience Christianity outside of this culture more. I went on a mission trip this past summer to South Africa. The way the worshipped and praised was unlike anything I had ever seen. It's like how church should be.
I hope you all have a wonderful Mother's Day. Keep praying for me and each other. This country needs so much prayer right now.
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2016 14:18:44 GMT -7
Relapse happened today. All thanks to snapchat. The devil is a clever person and I knew that he was out to get me and I did not listen to my inner conscious. The rabbit hole is dark and I just disgusted with this. Tomorrow is a new day and the battle continues. I guess my words about the war not being over reigns true. Pray for me guys.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,754
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on May 9, 2016 17:31:01 GMT -7
Thanks for keeping us posted, Dustin. Don't give up. And yes, tomorrow is new day. I'm personally glad that I don't have access to "Snapchat", or Youtube, or FB, or Yahoo, or Google, etc. In fact, I've whitelisted my access on the web to just those sites I only truly need. Hard to act out with Youtube when I can't even view it. It's actually quite freeing  Father, I pray for my brother, Dustin. May you continue to encourage him. Show him some hope so that he won't give up. Help him to know what his next step his. Help him to make some more friends to encourage him through this process. And help him to figure out boundaries for himself. We pray this in Jesus' name. Thank you and Amen. |
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2016 23:49:00 GMT -7
Hey guys sorry I haven't updated. It has been a hectic time around here. That's not a bad thing however!! I have been free for the past 8 days and I have rarely had any urges. When I do I just pray to God and he delivers me He is so wonderful!!! I recently lost my grandfather and I just think about what he would say and how much a man of God he was. One of my goals from here on out is to make him proud of me. He is my angel and he watches over me. Guys pray for me as I travel back home. It is a place that has a strong negative force. Most of the bad things in my life happened there and it's a place of very negative energy.
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2016 3:45:43 GMT -7
Thats great Dustin! Just keep holding on to who you are in Christ and walking by His spirit. Lord I pray your protection over Dustin as he deals with the difficulties of family relationships and hurts from the past. Bless and use him in Jesus name.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2016 13:18:38 GMT -7
Sorry have not been on. Life is busy! The last few weeks have been difficult, I have fallen so much, but I have also gotten back up. This disease is something that I don't think we talk enough about and there are very few places you can go where you can talk about these problems. The past few weeks I have been attacked more and more by the enemy and I continue to fall. I try top get through it but it seems like it's non stop. I have seen this more since I went to South Africa on a mission trip. The day we got back I was attacked physically and mentally and it hasn't stopped.
I had a hard day yesterday and it wasn't one of my finer moments in the past week. Last night I was awakened and I was drenching in sweat. I had this serious feeling of guilt and memories came back from a few months ago. I immediately started to pray and ask God for help and ask for forgiveness. I know these things hurt my wife but I also know I can't talk to her about this. It's something she could never understand.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2016 14:14:11 GMT -7
hi Dustin. This addiction can seem pretty hopeless at times. I think describing it as a disease can be a bit misleading and tends to come from 12 step theology. I think it is better described as a deception. We are new creations when we are born again and the old person has died. The devil convinces us we are still our old selves and thus we behave as such. That is a lie.
Also you still havn't told us what steps you are taking to overcome. Boundaries, blockers, books, accountability, groups, counselling? These things in themselves don't set us free but they can minimize the damage and demonstrate our will to be set free. Desperation leads to revelation.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,754
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Jun 7, 2016 14:52:39 GMT -7
Hey guys sorry I haven't updated. It has been a hectic time around here. That's not a bad thing however!! I have been free for the past 8 days and I have rarely had any urges. When I do I just pray to God and he delivers me He is so wonderful!!! I recently lost my grandfather and I just think about what he would say and how much a man of God he was. One of my goals from here on out is to make him proud of me. He is my angel and he watches over me. Guys pray for me as I travel back home. It is a place that has a strong negative force. Most of the bad things in my life happened there and it's a place of very negative energy. Hey Dustin, I'm glad you decided to bounce back. I'm praying that you find your way. I've got no problem referring to this as a disease. Disease or not, I do agree with Braveheart on the idea that we all need a good plan of action. On May 17, you were doing well, and then we lost touch with you... My thought is that I would like to see you more engaged here at BG. We want to be friends. We need each other. Let's stop doing this alone and allow God to use each other as a means to communicate. For me, it's not enough to just show up and linger around BG. I need to "show off". If I am not demonstrating that I'm engaged in this process, that I'm spending time with the Lord, that I'm calling my fellow PAs, that I'm setting good boundaries and enforcing them, or spending time with my wife and family, then I'm dead in the water. It doesn't matter how sober I am. If I fail to make each day count for the Lord, I shouldn't count on God doing His part to steer me away from P. I really want you to succeed so I'll make this to the point. If I were you, I would set some boundaries, write them out, share them on BG, and find solutions on enforcing them. Then I would set a plan in action to restore my relationship with God and with others. And I would make a commitment to check in with someone and on the forum every day. I would at least that. I hope you consider. This is a very hard addiction to deal with. We need all the strength we can get. Take care, Dustin. We love you, Kevin |
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