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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2005 8:43:02 GMT -7
Hi,
Praise God for a website that interested in a problem that is in desperate need of addressing in the church. I havebeen struggling with porno and lustful thoughts for quite sometime...probably since my pre-teen years. God took back to that time in my life a couple of years ago. In my prayer closet with tears streaming down, God took me to a very dark time and place in my life that I had really forgotten..or so I thought.
I remembered asking God why He took me there and his response was, "because you needed to know..now will you allow me to help you?" From that time I continue to work on this very pressing issue in my life. Today was a decent day although i had to wrestle with lustful thoughts. I work at a local university..plenty of lovely women. I did flirt with one of them in a nice way. I should of known better...need to do better.
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Post by mike on Jun 29, 2005 4:25:40 GMT -7
Hey Jake -
Welcome to the boards. Man, working at a university must be hard with all that under dressed temptation walking around. In case you haven't read it, I talk about how to deal with temptation in:
www.blazinggrace.org/warinthemind.htm
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2005 8:36:27 GMT -7
HI,
thanks for the folow up/reply. I don't work at the university all the time..that was a temp job i just finished up. Yet the temptations was at time hard to handle. But you know what?...it's everywhere..women.. and those thoughts of lust can raise up everywhere and anywhere. Satan is really "sweating" me but I am determined to handle this with God's grace and mercy.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2005 1:44:23 GMT -7
Hello, My name is Eileen. I have been married for 14 years and have two children, a son 14 and adaughter 11. I think that my husband has a problem with porn and I don't agree with his attitudes towards it. He states hat it is okay because it is legal, all men look at porn on the internet, he feels that he has done nothing wrong and will probably do it again. Around the 1st of the new year I discover pornographic images on our computer. It broke my heart and enraged me. When I confronted my husband he became angry and claimed that there was nothing wrong with what he was doing and would probably do it again. I asked him to consider my positon. For weeks I had gone without any love, attention, and intamacy. Then I come to find that he is looking a images of naked women, who are half my age and very beautiful. My heart sank so low. I flet betrayed, insecure and undesirable. I have always been the one to initiate sex. I always thought that I had a stronger drive for it, but now I wonder if his needs are being met and fullfilled with porn instead of me. How do I get his man to recognise that this is wrong and that it has a negative impact on our marriage?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2005 5:03:43 GMT -7
Dear Eileen,
First my heart goes out to you and the situation you are dealing with. I greatly appreciated your letter and your concerns because I often feel men who are subjected to porno fail to realize the effects it has on the wife. I personally needed to hear and see in writing what wives go through trying to reason with a man who is selfish and self centered. It is clear to me that your husband has no idea how hurt you are and what it has done to the marriage. I know this because I went to the same changes he is going through now...perhaps worst.
All I can tell you is to continue to pray for him and his deliverance as my wife did for me.That God in his own way will help your husband to see the errors of his ways and come to grips with reality. Pray for true conviction to set in which can lead to true repentance. By all means let him know how it makes you feel..don't stop communications with him.
No I am not completely out of the woods yet...but I have come a long ways thanks to the " the prayers of the righteous that availith much..." Maybe in time I can truly be a witness to men like my self in overcoming such a powerful addiction...and I believe in time I will be in the position to help others too...like yourself...Be encouraged and thank you for sharing...God's continued blessings and strength..always. Ken
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2005 14:51:31 GMT -7
Dear Jake, Thanks for responding to my post. I will continue to pray for him and I will try to keep the lines of communication open between us. However my husband is not a spiritual man and does not believe in God. When it came to educating the children and taking them to church, he was not really very supportive and rarely accompanied us to religious services. He is also very dominering and overbearing and I don't feel that he has any respect for me at all. He has many fine qualities, yet he also has certain attitudes that just don't sit right with me. He is a "Do as I say, not as I do kind of person." When I try to express my opinions about some of his behaviors he just looks at me and says that I am harrassing him because, "I'm just a bitter old ****." Which makes me feel really bad and insecure and that I have no right to express my own opinions. Sometimes I wonder why I love and care about him so much. Eileen
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2005 4:51:56 GMT -7
Hi Elieen,
Thanks again for the e-mail. A couple of years ago I did a play in which i played the role of a pastor who was abusive to his wife and four children. There was a line in that play in which my wife is.." expressing my opinion"..in which i fired back..." your opinion??? You're too stupid to have an opinion!!!!" Well to say the least the audience made up of mostly women was lived and angry at me.... many after the show wouldn't talk to me..walked past by me..... it was just a play but i think it was all too painful..i guess i played that part too well;)
I feel your pain also and yet it goes to show why God talks about being "unequally yoke". How can two walk together unless they both agree? Don't blame yourself for the demise you are in...nor beat yourself up...or condemn husband to hell either. Just continue to pray for him and most importantly...be th best "proverb" wife you can be.
It will stengthen you in the long haul...and your example could possibly win him over to Christ in which God will get the GLORY. Believe that He is able and don't give up. Continue to seek wisdom to deal with the every day pressures in your home life. And feel free to continue to e-mail me..I am here to help other and to be a source of encouragement. Love does conquer all.....Jake c
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