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Post by iamfree on Feb 19, 2022 5:10:14 GMT -7
Thank you for the book. It is making a difference. Since I started reading the book, it’s causing me to look at porn and list from a different angle. I did have a couple of relapses. However, I am realizing I am giving into those things because I like the high. You are right, it is not as hard as it seems. I am still reading the book and I am getting better by the grace of God. Thank you for recommending the book. I am more confident now than I ever been before.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,740
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Feb 19, 2022 5:54:48 GMT -7
Thank you for the book. It is making a difference. Since I started reading the book, it’s causing me to look at porn and list from a different angle. I did have a couple of relapses. However, I am realizing I am giving into those things because I like the high. You are right, it is not as hard as it seems. I am still reading the book and I am getting better by the grace of God. Thank you for recommending the book. I am more confident now than I ever been before. I thought I was getting high. And that's what I called it, a high. But I now understand that it really isn't a high. It's more of a ride. After a session, my dopamine drops and creates a low. Until my next session whichs gives me a ride that picks me up to a higher place mentally. Like the analogy mentioned in the book about beating my head against the wall and then stopping. The relief afterwards feels good. The problem is that over time, my overall state of well-being continually makes a downslide. Even after such a ride, my overall contentment is much less than a non-user feels all the time. This ride confuses me into thinking that I'm experiencing the best thing in the world. But that's an illusion. In reality, porn is actually stealing my happiness and joy.
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Post by iamfree on Mar 12, 2022 17:52:32 GMT -7
The last several days were good until today. I allowed the feelings get the best of me. When will I ever learn: this is not good for me. I am disgusted with myself. I am picking myself up again to go forward. I am not giving up. I admit I stopped reading Easypeasy. Not that I meant to. I am going to make more time to read it. Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Mar 12, 2022 19:11:56 GMT -7
Dear Jesus, please help our brother to pass this trial and abide in You Jesus. Please help me too. Please give him what he needs we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
Keep close to God brother. Me too.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,740
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 13, 2022 6:08:54 GMT -7
The last several days were good until today. I allowed the feelings get the best of me. When will I ever learn: this is not good for me. I am disgusted with myself. I am picking myself up again to go forward. I am not giving up. I admit I stopped reading Easypeasy. Not that I meant to. I am going to make more time to read it. Please keep me in your prayers. Thank you. I'm glad you're getting back in the saddle again. Never give up.
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Post by iamfree on Mar 20, 2022 5:22:56 GMT -7
Good Day, This week was good until yesterday. I fell. Seem like it started when I a couple of provocative dreams during the week. I am not making me excuses for the dreams. Should have still resisted and overcame yesterday. The temptation started Friday. However, I was able to overcome it. I am not giving up!! Even if it takes a lifetime! I walk in the grace of God and believe by faith I am victorious. I want to come here to this site and help people to overcome. I will and have determined that this stronghold or addiction will not have the best of me. Yes, I have fell in defeat, but I will have victory! Please continue to pray for me. I thank God for this forum.
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Post by iamfree on Mar 20, 2022 13:05:44 GMT -7
Today, I will make make myself more accountable to this group and post daily on my progress. I confess I will live in freedom one day at a time by the Grace of God. I will not be mastered by LMP. I believe my freedom was purchased by the death of Jesus on the cross and live in His power of His resurrection. Therefore, I declare I am free and manifested in my everyday life. Thank you Lord for already doing this in Jesus name.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,740
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 20, 2022 16:57:39 GMT -7
Yeah, I want to post daily too. Sometimes I'm just so busy. And the perfectionistic person inside me wants to put out the best daily Post. That's my toxic shame talking to me. Maybe sometimes I just need to say checking in day such and such and that's all. Because I get busy sometimes.
Calling myself free actually helps me too. Others feel it's best that they hold on to this 12 step teaching that once an addict always an addict. And I understand that point of view. It keeps such a person humble, leaning upon God for provision. So I'm not going to tell those people to change their perspective. For me, that perspective gave too much power to porn. And since porn has no value, it has no power. Yes, I am free. I am indeed free. I'm glad you're here.
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Post by iamfree on Mar 21, 2022 3:56:40 GMT -7
Yeah, I want to post daily too. Sometimes I'm just so busy. And the perfectionistic person inside me wants to put out the best daily Post. That's my toxic shame talking to me. Maybe sometimes I just need to say checking in day such and such and that's all. Because I get busy sometimes. Calling myself free actually helps me too. Others feel it's best that they hold on to this 12 step teaching that once an addict always an addict. And I understand that point of view. It keeps such a person humble, leaning upon God for provision. So I'm not going to tell those people to change their perspective. For me, that perspective gave too much power to porn. And since porn has no value, it has no power. Yes, I am free. I am indeed free. I'm glad you're here. Thank you. I am very busy myself between running a business and working another job. I am going to discipline myself to try to make a daily post. Between reading, prayer, and accountability to this forum, I see myself living free. Thank you for your encouragement.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Mar 21, 2022 4:03:10 GMT -7
if you need someone to call, pm me. Praying for you brother. We are all in this together.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,740
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 21, 2022 5:32:35 GMT -7
I was holding a full time job before Covid. Juggling that along with our business was annoying. I quit in April 2020. I'm one of those great resignation guys. I started doing GrubHub, Doordash, Ubereats once the pandemic started because our business suffered and I needed another stream of income.
I realized how much I hated my job. And my boss was very difficult. I felt like I was walking on eggshells everyday to avoid ticking him off. About 6 months ago, he spotted me working the farmers market and said, "Hi." A week later, he called me and offered me a job. I didn't promise him anything. I said it would take a lot of money to get me to leave my business. He said that he was going to talk to his boss about getting that better offer. He didn't call again. Looking back at the moment, I wasn't honest enough with myself. I can't quit my business! I can't even slow it down! That would be like selling my soul.
I'm going to ask out of curiosity, But if you choose not to answer because it would affect your anonymity, I would understand.
But what kind of work do you do and what kind of business do you own?
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Post by iamfree on Mar 21, 2022 17:25:31 GMT -7
I was holding a full time job before Covid. Juggling that along with our business was annoying. I quit in April 2020. I'm one of those great resignation guys. I started doing GrubHub, Doordash, Ubereats once the pandemic started because our business suffered and I needed another stream of income. I realized how much I hated my job. And my boss was very difficult. I felt like I was walking on eggshells everyday to avoid ticking him off. About 6 months ago, he spotted me working the farmers market and said, "Hi." A week later, he called me and offered me a job. I didn't promise him anything. I said it would take a lot of money to get me to leave my business. He said that he was going to talk to his boss about getting that better offer. He didn't call again. Looking back at the moment, I wasn't honest enough with myself. I can't quit my business! I can't even slow it down! That would be like selling my soul. I'm going to ask out of curiosity, But if you choose not to answer because it would affect your anonymity, I would understand. But what kind of work do you do and what kind of business do you own? I own a insurance agency, selling life insurance-final expense. It keeps me busy! Thanks for the conversation. Now, my accountability report. I was tempted today. Thank God he helped to resist and overcome. I am taking this one day at a time.
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Post by iamfree on Mar 23, 2022 4:24:28 GMT -7
Yesterday was not good. I allowed myself to get overwhelmed by the temptation. Horrible feeling. Tired of feeling this way. Tired of giving in. Still not giving up. Determined to have the victory manifested in my life. I know it will. Starting over. Today is day 1.
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Post by Ɖσмιиιc on Mar 23, 2022 5:20:51 GMT -7
Jesus is always there to help us. Don't let Satan tell you otherwise. Dear God, please help us to be holy and pure for You Lord. Amen.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,740
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Mar 23, 2022 6:07:41 GMT -7
I've relapsed sooooo many times. Yeah. Anyways, you've decided to not give up.
Keep seeking the Lord for answers and learning more tools. If trying harder doesn't work or stops working, try different.
Attend a support group. Seek out new literature. Devolop a hobby. Actively build up connection with God. Just some of the things others have tried. Find out what works for you to help you achieve better success.
Insurance, eh? I tried to sell insurance. I wasn't very happy with it. Very competitive industry. My position was to get senior citizens to abandon their existing medigap policies along with their part A, B, and D coverages to sign up for this controversial part C plan. I'm glad I'm out of that now. I made zero money. I'll leave the insurance field to you, the expert.
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