javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Aug 25, 2021 16:17:27 GMT -7
I just read through just my posts on failing over the last 2 years a little earlier and I want to puke. Lord save me from myself and the lies! My wife should run....
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2021 17:39:28 GMT -7
yeah, I am trying to please my wife but I'm very weak and easy to fall. I know it's not an excuse because God has shown me the way out. There is always a way out and the devil attacks our wills to make us 'not' want the way out. I need to stay really on close and on guard. Today is another trial. God please help us. Please forgive us Lord. In Jesus' name. Amen.
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Sept 11, 2021 12:36:56 GMT -7
Things going better between wife and I. I keep seeking God for wisdom and direction. I ask Him to heal our marriage that I have broken. My wife did ask the following morning she caught me how long I have been having issues again and I told her a few years. This was the biggest part for her to deal with. I feel the 30 day temptations coming. Will be a month on the 18th.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2021 22:47:43 GMT -7
I hope she will pray with you. I sometimes ask my wife to pray with me.
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Sept 12, 2021 10:14:18 GMT -7
Yeah I want to do that and she said that would be ok but I hesitate for some reason like being embarrassed with this in front of her. At the moment a physical issue has broken any temptations.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2021 1:16:19 GMT -7
I'm hestitant too. I understand. I hope you get better over the physical issue soon.
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Post by savedbygrace on Sept 14, 2021 12:46:34 GMT -7
Amen to above. But God used it to break power of temptation at that time. May He grant you healing now. May God's will be done.
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Sept 17, 2021 8:38:05 GMT -7
Coming up on a month of behaving. This morning images and thoughts that don't belong started. Caught them and got out of bed.
Lord help me to take every thought captive. In Jesus name!
2 Corinthians 10:5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, NKJV
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Post by savedbygrace on Sept 17, 2021 11:38:06 GMT -7
Yes, I have found that early AM thoughts in bed tend to be sad and depressing... not sexual just negative, and I need to get myself up and get moving!
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Nov 3, 2021 11:26:26 GMT -7
Checking in. Last month and a half no porn. The battle is with my thoughts and eyes now. Did give way a couple of times to physical release. Wife and I are doing better but she is suspicious of me when she sees me alone with one of my devices. It is refreshing to be able to say I’m not looking at porn. But saddened to know she will feel this way because of my past failures. I have to say sometimes I miss the porn or should I say my corrupt old man misses it. But I don’t miss the heartache and separation from God and my wife it brings. Taking it day by day.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,735
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Nov 4, 2021 4:38:43 GMT -7
Checking in. Last month and a half no porn. The battle is with my thoughts and eyes now. Did give way a couple of times to physical release. Wife and I are doing better but she is suspicious of me when she sees me alone with one of my devices. It is refreshing to be able to say I’m not looking at porn. But saddened to know she will feel this way because of my past failures. I have to say sometimes I miss the porn or should I say my corrupt old man misses it. But I don’t miss the heartache and separation from God and my wife it brings. Taking it day by day. My wife doesn't trust me. Why should she? I don't even trust myself. Perhaps after a long period of abstinence from the addiction will allow her to reestablish some of the trust that was lost. 45 days, no porn is awesome. That's a better place than you were a month and a half ago.
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Nov 4, 2021 8:01:02 GMT -7
Thanks. Yes I must be patient and watch my thoughts and heart. I love my wife but I won’t be giving an account to her at the judgement but the Lord. If I obey Him I will do right with others.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2021 19:56:50 GMT -7
Amen, accountability with the Lord is the key and you said it.
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KevinesKay
Administrator
Posts: 1,735
Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year
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Post by KevinesKay on Dec 24, 2021 10:12:06 GMT -7
Hi javajake, We're missing you. Hope to hear from you soon. Merry Christmas.
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Post by 🇺🇦 Ɖσмιиιc 🇮🇱 on Dec 24, 2021 18:11:12 GMT -7
javajake, Merry Christmas. I hope you are doing OK, if not, let's talk about it. God is good brother.
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