Missing those who have not posted for a while

Hello

I'm here. Not discouraged, encouraged!

Lots of things are happening with me, um I'll put them in bullet points so as not to write an essay!


- Have some deep-seated, terrible spiritual possession or fear or suppressed experience that I don't know how to combat. Need to be released fron this before I can serve God uninhibitedly with my life and fruitfully, that is what I want to do
- Went to Israel about a year ago in the hopes of getting struck supernaturally by the Holy Spirit and set free from this thing.
- It's associated with also 'baptizsm in the Holy Spirit' and also 'blessed assurance of Salvation', neither of these am convinced I really have yet.
- Didn't happen in Israel (thank you for your prayers then everyone by the way though, it meant a lot!)
- Disillusioned I came back to Australia and fell back into porn quite badly
- But in November the first of three big spiritual breakthroughs happened for me:
1) God blessed me to realise that I didn't need anymore to subscribe to my family's values, values of warlike, macho, money, social status, etc. Nor did I need to feel myself 'under' those values, but was free to follow Jesus with my whole life. This verse spoke to me: "they will beat their swords into ploughshares, and they will study war no more". That the values of Christ were now my values, and I was free to let go of those other values and that whole value system.
2) In December, that I could no longer be happy with careerism and considering money, etc as a primary or significant consideration, but that 'living for the Spirit and not for the flesh' would be my future. That my peace was dependent on living truly a life of ministry in some capacity, whether Missionary work, or something else.
3) In January, the verse "Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you" really blew my mind in wonderful ways. It's that "first" that really hit me, because it was an answer to a lot of my issues with direction, i.e. what to do with my life, etc. I don't need to know what to do with it, nor to plan, I only need to SEEK, FIRST (before doing anything else) the Kingdom of God.

These breakthroughs came from talking with blessed brothers and sisters, and listening to Ministers and preachers. So I had received:
1) to let go of my old life's enslavement to values of the world
2) the insight to make the decision that I must follow the Spirit with my life wherever it took me for any kind of peace of mind as this is my 'purpose' and we can't be truly at peace unless we are 'on purpose', living life in the direction of our purpose
3) the immediate instructions on how to do that: that in whatever situation you are in, look UP, and seek first the Kingdom. That's all you need to know

So from there, I put out a bunch of emails appyling for various Ministry and volunteering posts. My enthusiasm was greeted warmly and I hooked up to:
- become kind of a deacon at my Church, looking after a complex phone bill issue for them (we were basically being persecuted by thousands of dollars of unwarranted phone charges, took months to untangle it all and get it sorted out)
- make a video for the other fellowship I attend, that has been a real blessing
- volunteer for a (very junior!) Ministry role at a Christian camp sharing the gospel with Jewish backpackers.
- Took on the responsibility of doing a three-sermon series at Church, based partly on my trip to Jerusalem, that has so far been well-received.

I also praise God finally moved out of my super-expensive rent apartment and was able to save a few thousand dollars to finance the volunteering trip.

Quit my job of 4 years in the wicked industry of TV in preparation for being a 'full-time Christian'

Am now living in temp accomodation and ready to ship out to the camp. Super excited and stoked!

Of course its not all fun and games, it has been an exhausting few months with a huge amount of trials and tribulations. Have cried out and moaned and whined to God a lot in frustration and tiredness, and He has supported me and answered my prayers.

At the camp I am planning to:

- Get closer to God, reading the Word of God more and Christian books, share the Gospel, away from some of the influences of the world, in the hopes that I can be set free from whatever this unclean influence or thing is in me that I need to get rid of
- Meditate on what kind of economic, 'career' move I should do next, where to go and what to do. I have a chronic medical issue that also I need wisdom on how to deal with
- have a vacation among fellow believers in a nice, country environment!

So that's what's going on with me. Sorry probably too much information!!

Will x

Hi Virgil,

Thanks for checking in!!

Praying for you.

Hey everyone

Continuing on the journey. Its been two weeks since I acted out in a selfish relapse that has left me with the need to face some serious self denial and left my wife extremely hurt. We had a great but difficult discussion the other night - some tighter boundaries, expectations and ground rules have been set out by her with regard to our marriage and my recovery which has been a 7 year rollercoaster that spikes in the slippery slope of lust, objectification and a whole lot of convincing myself that I am just doing a whole lot of "noticing".
Starting to work through the 8 week action steps to freedom material again. My problem is always momentum - start out of the gate strong and then all the good habits slowly erode away so accountability to others is the key. Thanks for the chance to update and always appreciate support!

Momentum comes when you get serious and get fed up enough to truly fight for your soul but it is a learning process for most of us because we have to build up our faith, strength and relationship with Father God. So don't give up. Keep working on your relationship with God and always be open to learning what He teaches you. It took me a year to finally get to the point that I stopped looking at porn or acting out....however I am still learning, still leaning on the Father. If I don't lean on Him, I will fall right back into sin. I have been an overcomer for 10 years. It's easier to fight the temptations but I will always have to be vigilant so that I remain a well honed fighter and not get my legs knocked out from under me. The enemy is predictable because he knows nothing new. Once you learn his methods in your life, you will be able to fight them effectively. You learn those methods by working on your relationship with God and listening to what He teaches you.