I know it's been a long time (about 1 1/2 years) that I have been on here. I'm still struggling with masturbation on and off. Last year at this time, after 6 months of sobriety, I fell back into the habit, and ever since my longest streak was maybe 2 months or so. After acting out the last time 2 1/2 weeks ago, I thought I had it under control now. But today, I didn't stay at church for the afternoon programme and thus I had a little too much time at hand. In addition, it's that time of the month when my cravings are usually stronger. So I allowed it to happen again; and I even used soft porn with it. I feel so ashamed that I keep falling - especially with using porn, which is nothing but fornication. I have asked the Lord to help me to abhor these videos on YouTube, but unfortunately it hasn't happened yet. Only afterwards I feel bad. The thing is that there is still no husband for me in sight. I believe it would quell my battle if I was married. However, I do realize that I need to overcome this before.
Anyway, I appreciate if you could pray for me to stay sober now. It's really my desire!
He desires to restore you to Himself, to see His own purity and holiness reflected in you. And if you will but yield yourself to Him, He that hath begun a good work in you will carry it forward to the day of Jesus Christ. (Steps to Christ, p. 64)
Don't know if you're reading the forum at the moment. Wanted to say hi as I so sympathise with your plight. I have been exactly the same for many, many years. Funny that you say that about a husband and I thought for many years the same about a wife. The Truth I believe is that as long as I was thinking 'oh wow a wife would be great, then I wouldn't have this problem', the problem was still there. Only thinking and understanding that the Lord God Almighty's beautiful Kingdom will fill the hole in my heart, and nothing else, including a spouse, can ever do it, because it's a spiritual problem of loneliness in our hearts that is much bigger than just a worldly one of finding a partner, did I start getting victory.
Youtube sucks and is evil. You will notice that when you look at something un-Godly, the suggestions on the right of the screen will attempt to lure you into yet worse un-Godliness. I believe it is programmed to do that. It's like a 'slippery slope algorithm.
God bless you and hope you are doing better. Please check in and update us with your progress. Your struggle sounds so much like mine!
Amymine712: I will be praying for your situation Tee
Sept 18, 2018 17:49:12 GMT -7
teetop: It seems that I have offended many here on Blazing Grace and to that end I am sorry.
Sept 22, 2018 8:39:07 GMT -7
teetop: Both requests have been acted on and I am sorry I've offended anyone here on Blazing Grace. Virgil
Sept 23, 2018 15:13:27 GMT -7
Amymine712: Tee, how are you doing?
Sept 23, 2018 15:15:52 GMT -7
teetop: To answer your question Amy, not so good today. Too many things rearing their ugly head all at once.
Oct 19, 2018 18:54:40 GMT -7
teetop: Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. Pro 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. ]
Oct 19, 2018 19:17:44 GMT -7
ridat: Teach me Your way, ADONAI, that I may walk in Your truth. Give me an undivided heart to fear Your Name.
Nov 18, 2018 2:09:15 GMT -7
freerein: Wife of an addict here trying to gain wisdom.
Dec 2, 2018 21:58:15 GMT -7
Amymine712: Welcome freerein. I moved your thread to the wife's section so that the wives would be more likely to see it. You are welcome to post everywhere on the forums.
Dec 3, 2018 9:43:46 GMT -7
Will: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 3, 2019 4:57:58 GMT -7
Dominic M.: Thank you for bring the forums back.
Jan 9, 2019 21:07:52 GMT -7
Amymine712: I was surprised that they were down. Mike got them back up! So grateful!
Jan 10, 2019 4:35:27 GMT -7
Will: Yep thanks for bringing the forums back!
Jan 12, 2019 1:27:13 GMT -7
Dominic M.: Praying for us.
Jan 24, 2019 2:37:11 GMT -7
zat: Thank you guys for the approval. I hope to find the sharing platform here.
Jan 30, 2019 10:33:56 GMT -7
Amymine712: You are welcome! Feel free to start a thread and tells us about yourself.
Jan 31, 2019 3:43:48 GMT -7
Dominic M.: how is everyone out there?
Apr 30, 2019 17:14:37 GMT -7
teetop: Doing great Dominic. Thanks for asking. A slight bout of pneumonia that the VA Doctor said I had, ha, ha! (Horse pills now.)
Jul 23, 2019 5:37:37 GMT -7
Dominic M.: VA. Cool. I'm also a vet. Thanks for serving brother.
Jul 25, 2019 7:27:22 GMT -7
Dominic M.: For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. Hebrews 10:26-27 KJV
Aug 8, 2019 3:58:43 GMT -7