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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2018 0:55:10 GMT -7
If you are not willing to tell your wife, then you care nothing of her getting an STD or AIDS and she deserves to know for her own health. This is how I thought when I was in sin before like you...
JESUS is your only hope. Posting here is not much help unless you take those steps.
1. Tell God 2. Tell your Pastor. 3. Tell your wife.
Or what are you feeling trying to do because I question your motives.
Take care for now. Dominic
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2018 0:56:42 GMT -7
One more For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works. Speak these things, exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no one despise you. Titus 2:11-15 NKJV bible.com/bible/114/tit.2.11-15.NKJV
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2018 9:00:05 GMT -7
You need to confess to your wife. You both need to be checked for STDs. You also need to realize a few things.
First your mind is messed up from this sin. Because of that you do not treat women, especially your wife, in a godly way. That affects how they react to you. I think you will find that as your mind heals from this sin and you start treating your wife in a godly manner, her reaction to you will change for the better.
Second, it takes longer than 90 days sober to affect change in yourself. You are going to need accountability for this sin probably for years. I am almost 10 years sober and I still need to talk to others about it on occasion. The frequency has lessened but I still need it.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2018 14:58:44 GMT -7
i see i need accountability. which is why i came here. i disagree i should tell my wife however i do not wish to debate, i do wish to repent turn away. 15 days sober now. What would help me right now is some encouragement to stay strong. I will seek someone to be face to face accountable i agree with you. I am also positive i have no STD, and it would not be possible to for her to have one. My only recource for descent relationship is not pressuring her for sex, and she encouraged me to take care of my own needs instead of bothering her. (of course she didnt mean from amp). This is way more complicated than assuming all the faults and issues are one sided with me. However, it seeme I must be the one to bear the burden. Which I am coming to grips with but it is difficult.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2018 17:14:35 GMT -7
Here is encouragement from the Word He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy. Proverbs 28:13 NKJV bible.com/bible/114/pro.28.13.NKJVTrue confession involves telling God first then the person you hurt. They reason why you don't want to confess is here. From Jesus... And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.” John 3:19-21 NKJV bible.com/bible/114/jhn.3.19-21.NKJVYou look darkness rather than the light. You love yourself more than God and you love your hiding of sins rather that confessing and forsaking them. That is from the Word of God. If you want encouragement thst is not from the Word of God then I can't help you. I love you enough to tell you the painful truth. Think about if your wife was messing with another man. Don't you deserve to know what she did and how it affects you. Of course, same principle here. Don't fear your wife and her reaction. Come to Jesus first Jesus said these words. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:28 NKJV bible.com/bible/114/mat.10.28.NKJVDon't be a slave to your sin Don't fear your wife. Come to Jesus and come clean. You need to be free from this depravity, deception, and sin. Or you will be making a choice to go to hell and Christ died to free you from hell. What will you choose? Who is your real God? JESUS? Or you?
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Post by ladystrong on Jul 7, 2018 21:54:14 GMT -7
I hear you “freedom”. I’m sure it is extremely hard to go through this process. I know it was very difficult for my husband. It was his own journey to really believing that God could heal us and especially that He would be able to heal me. The scripture that came to mind for me when we were at the beginning of his confession was Isaiah 61. That is our “New Marriage” chapter. Here are a bunch of scriptures that I referred to to help me keep my eyes on God’s promises through this process: Isaiah 43:18-19 Isaiah 40:27-31 Joshua 1:9 Psalm 16:2 Psalm 51 Proverbs 3:5-6 Jeremiah 17:8 Psalm 1:1-3 1 John 4:4 James 4:8 2 Corinthians 10:5 Philippians 4:6-7 Jeremiah 29:12-13 1 Peter 5:10
I encourage you to start writing out these verses on 3x5 cards to carry with you where ever you go. Of course, stay in the Word and find verses that speak to you personally. Memorize parts to recall what great things the Lord has done and can do. Write down what He has done in your life in the past so that you remember how great He is in your own life.
One exhortation: 1 Peter 3:7 talks about our prayers being HINDERED if we are in a marriage and not honoring our spouse in what we do. Currently, you are lying to your wife and unfortunately until you confess, your prayers will be hindered. That’s not from me, that’s from the Word. We cannot live like cafeteria Christians, choosing what we want to hear and discarding what is hard. Hebrews 12 speaks of being disciplined by the Father because He LOVES us. It is painful but as Hebrews 12:11 says, it will yield FRUIT!
Be encouraged, you are taking wise steps toward following Jesus. It is not an easy road and will take courage every step of the way. The good news is, you’re not alone. Don’t let the enemy discourage you, you have GOD on your side, our Creator, our Redeemer, Jehovah Rapha, our Healer. He is far greater than anything we face in this world! Jesus said in John 16:33 “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” Believe it!
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Post by savedbygrace on Jul 8, 2018 4:55:00 GMT -7
This may have already been said, as I haven't read every word, but you could consider a meeting with your pastor where you confess to your wife in his presence.
Taking the worst case scenario, she could leave you for a while. I'm not saying that would happen, but it would be a fear in your mind. She would need to see your sorrow working out in practical ways. Your coming together again could be beautiful.
Definitely get your pastor's counsel and help with this.
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Post by savedbygrace on Jul 8, 2018 5:11:27 GMT -7
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2018 19:12:00 GMT -7
i see i need accountability. which is why i came here. i disagree i should tell my wife however i do not wish to debate, i do wish to repent turn away. 15 days sober now. What would help me right now is some encouragement to stay strong. I will seek someone to be face to face accountable i agree with you. I am also positive i have no STD, and it would not be possible to for her to have one. My only recource for descent relationship is not pressuring her for sex, and she encouraged me to take care of my own needs instead of bothering her. (of course she didnt mean from amp). This is way more complicated than assuming all the faults and issues are one sided with me. However, it seeme I must be the one to bear the burden. Which I am coming to grips with but it is difficult. Is it possible to get STD's for going to a massage parlor? Yes. And here is why. First let's see what the Bible says Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 1st Corinthians 6:18 NIV Sinning against your own body is damage, decay, disease and death. Plain out masturbating is self-abuse. Visiting a massage parlor is paying someone to sexually abuse you. The one doing the abuse has already abused many customers for years or more. The places that the abuse is done is filthy. The beds are dirty and used. Men with other STD'S, AIDS, or other skin diseases come to these same places. The oils, soaps, and all equipment were already used and used many times and the next customer gets to pick up all the filth that was left over. The one seeking this type of sexual sin can get an STD from any physical contact with the one doing the abusing. The Sensative skin on the male sex organ is easily torn by the abuse and it create openings for germs, bacteria, and all other things to enter. Bleeding and rashes are what happens to you. The abuser has their own skin problems and sickness. They can spread from their hands and body to yours. The women who give the massages are not clean. They are lewd and do not care about your health but only your money. They can pass a disease to you by their hands. Any small cuts in their hands and open wounds, sores, or even through their finger nail it can pass a STD to you. Any dirty water, oils, soaps combines with their touch going into the whole of your penis can give you an STD. All of this is already inside you and you are going to give your wife the disease. This effects more than you. Warning. Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Do you think you can get away with your sin? You can not. You can get an STD but not is not the worst, you can send yourself to hell, actually God will tell you "depart from me" when you stand before Him and you will be sent to hell. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. MATTHEW 10:29 NIV You have to get desperate and cry out to God. Confess your sins to God. Please read Psalm 51 and make that your sincere prayer to God Almighty. JESUS is God Almighty. Here are some other practical steps. 1. Give all your money to your wife. 2. Give up the internet 3. Give up your smart phones and get a flip phone. 4. Start going to church Sunday, Sunday night, Wednesday, and all the Bible Study. 5. Fellowship with the men and ask for prayer. 6. Wake up early and read the God for this is how you will encounter the God. 7. When you are tempted you have to pray, leave the place your are currently in, and call someone. Ask for willingness. Bottom line: Your spirit is dead, it is evident in the way your speak. God has power to raise the dead, Do you believe this? Ask for this miracle and God will make you come back alive. He did it for me and He can and is willing to do this for you too.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2018 19:12:52 GMT -7
Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:4b-6 NIV
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. - 1st Corinthians 6:15-17 NIV
Dominic: do I know that my body (every part[eyes,hands,private parts] of it) is members of Christ? Should I take my body which is spiritually joined to Jesus then unite (by visiting massage parlors, visiting lewd women, visiting prostitutes) my body and spirit with a whore? No way.
If Dominic unites himself with a prostitute (sexually immoral women, massage parlor lewd women) then I become one with her in body. Her sexually pleasure to me unites her to my body. Sex with her unites her to my body. Sex is not only vaginal, but also include hands. Masterbstion is sex with self (self-abuse) and sex with someone's hands.
So since God has joined my wife to me (Matthew 19) I must not separate from her. I must never visit a prostitute, massage parlor women, lewd women, or have any sex outside of the holy marriage commitment God gave to my wife and I.
So with regards to a married man who is tempted.... I must never seek out sex physically I must never seek out sex in my heart I must never seek out sex in my dreams I must never have a motive to lust with another women. I must never have a motive to lust after another women.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2018 19:13:53 GMT -7
But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death. Revelations 21:8 NIV
1st Corinthians 6:9 NIV Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.- Matthew 5:27-30 NIV
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.- Romans 1:24-25 NIV
With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. Proverbs 7:21-23 NIV
Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death. - Proverbs 7:24-27 NIV
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Post by savedbygrace on Jul 9, 2018 4:39:13 GMT -7
Referring to Jonathan Daugherty's story in the link I posted above, and it was indeed a horrible experience (Satan always leads us farther than we thought we would go, right?) ……
In that story she did leave him for a while. Obviously that was a rough time for him, but she had to let him get to the point where she was convinced he meant business with God and was dead serious about letting God change him.
Long story short, they have a beautiful marriage and family now! GOD is in the business of making all things new. Going through the pain was worth it all.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2018 9:46:31 GMT -7
dominic, u misunderstand me. for my wife to have an std, i would have to have "relations" with her. i like what saved by grace said, confessing with a pastor as there are multiple wrongs here. i just want my marriage restored. also, i told my friend he is helping me talk through this now too. appreciate everyones encouragement
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Post by savedbygrace on Jul 10, 2018 16:30:18 GMT -7
Yes, thanks to God for that friend.
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Post by Will on Jul 11, 2018 3:14:43 GMT -7
Amen! Thanks to God for that friend. Must be difficult with your wife withholding from you. Does she know the Lord Jesus?
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