New sa here

I am new to the site and have a lengthy sa history. It started at the age of 11 or 12 with porn and masturbation and over the last 30 plus years has progressed to prostitution, same gender sex and etc. I am disgusted of the person I have become. I don't think I realized I had a problem until about 10 years ago when I could not stop having affairs on my so. She was in the hospital dying with cancer and I was meeting people and having sex with them. It was not my lack of love for her it was the addiction. She ended up passing away god rest her soul and I continued on the path of destruction getting worse. In my downward spile I met somebody and we connected but still continued the addiction. I was able to hide it from her for a while but I got caught. I go clean for a while after getting caught with good intentions Everytime but then something happens and the monster gets out. This last time I am truly broken and sick of the lies. I can no longer live like this and treat the person I love so much like this. With God's help I can make it through. She is giving me another chance and I know this is my last one so I have to make it count. The thing I hate the most is how it turns me into a lier. The devil can be strong but God is stronger so I am turning to him and looking to rebuild our relationship.