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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2018 21:57:05 GMT -7
I'm happy to say My husband has been in recovery for over a year now and I have seen in him great changes and a life of repentance. I however still struggle with some of his sexual acting out while in addition. The worst for me is when my Daughter was 13 he went into her room, thought she was a sleep and put her feel on his private area and moved them around. He then panicked at what he did and left quickly, but she was a wake and once this all came out she told me about it. It is true and never happened again, however He later admitted he had done same thing with older daughterthen 17 and masturbated by her door late at night and smelled panties and masturbated to them. My daughter's are 30&36 now and oldest knows nothing about these things. As a mom I'm discussed and have a almost impossible time knowing how to deal with this, he has never had a attractions to children but has has a secret foot fetish most his life which he said what he was attracted to then. It's just all creepy and I'm lost not knowing what to do. He is doing well in his recovery and our marriage has gotten a lot better than a year ago but I'm stuck here on this?  ?? |
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Post by ladystrong on Jan 29, 2018 9:48:50 GMT -7
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Were these actions just recently revealed to you during his recovery? Have you been seeing a therapist to work through the trauma? That’s where I would start. It’s going to take a long time to get through those two horrible occurrences, which is normal. Has he been going to individual counseling? If my H did something like that I would definitely be traumatized and confused. Rebuilding any kind of trust would take years and I wouldn’t let him near the kids alone. I’m praying that you’d get help through the trauma from his addictions.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2018 10:20:21 GMT -7
We haven't been able to financially afford a counselor but I've been in a women's group Betrayal Trauma. My husband is also in a men's support group. I have known about it for about 9 mos now but My 30 yr old daughter and family won't talk to me or allow me to see grandkids and the oldest daughter doesn't know and It would be a help to get or anyone to know. It sucks! My life as I new it will never be the same I have faith that Jesus will walk me through all this but my head and heart are confused on how to feel about my husband. Sometimes I have compassion for him as I watch the struggle he's going through trying to be the man he wants to be and other times im angry and creeped out by what he's done. It's sooooo much.......
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2018 10:20:50 GMT -7
We haven't been able to financially afford a counselor but I've been in a women's group Betrayal Trauma. My husband is also in a men's support group. I have known about it for about 9 mos now but My 30 yr old daughter and family won't talk to me or allow me to see grandkids and the oldest daughter doesn't know and It would be a help to get or anyone to know. It sucks! My life as I new it will never be the same I have faith that Jesus will walk me through all this but my head and heart are confused on how to feel about my husband. Sometimes I have compassion for him as I watch the struggle he's going through trying to be the man he wants to be and other times im angry and creeped out by what he's done. It's sooooo much.......
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2018 7:28:04 GMT -7
I am sorry you are dealing with this. I can understand your kids not allowing you to have contact with your grandkids because of your husband's past behavior and abuse. They need to protect their children from that. Have you talked to them about seeing the grandkids without your husband present and with them supervising?
I also find it highly suspect that your one daughter doesn't know. She has to know on some level even if it is only subconsciously. Incest/child sexual abuse permeates the entire family and affects everyone even if they weren't directly involved in the situation.
I cannot give you unbiased advice about your husband because of my history with my father. So I will just pray for you and your family...that God will guide you all and rip out the root of this sin from all your lives. It will be a rough road and it will be hard work especially for your husband. Lean into God and hang on. Hugs sweet sister.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2018 11:00:12 GMT -7
Hey,Amy thank you for responding. I have always had a hard relationship with the daughter who has the grand children. So yes I get her taking time and wanting to protect them. To keep my grandbabies from me just hurts them and me. The brokenness is so hard either way.My oldest daughter knows about the sex addiction and what happened with her sister, but rite now knows nothing else, she has lived a rough life and to tell her anymore rite now would probably be to much for her and wouldn't benefit nobody. Maybe there will be a time? ? I know how it feels to have been abused, "me to" Jesus healed my Heart and I was able to forgive and have compassion for those that hurt me and My trust and faith in Jesus who understands betrayal and yet chose to pay the cost for us has been tested beyond what I thought I could handle but through it all He is still where I have to trust and put my faith for healing of my family and self. I'm not there yet and I question my self everyday But again if I had never committed sin of my own then it may be justified to not Forgive but I want healing for myself and family and Jesus is the only way for me to find it!!! I'm seeking Healing |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2018 11:46:51 GMT -7
Forgiveness is a tough road to travel but it needs to be done. Everyone's journey will look different. Your main focus right now needs to on your own healing. As you work on that, God will guide you on how to help your family. Prayer is your main weapon as a wife and mother. Use it well and often hon.
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