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Post by rical on Oct 1, 2017 10:04:06 GMT -7
Doing well today. I was reminded that I am free from the penalty of sin, the power of sin, but I will never be free on this earth from the presence of sin. I can only chose to submit to the Holy Spirit guiding. James 4:7&8 KJV [7] Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. [8] Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
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Post by rical on Oct 2, 2017 3:55:59 GMT -7
I'm taking preemptive action this morning, all is going well. Friday I threw away my recovery and did what I wanted to do, I repented when I ran out of time. I drove home honestly asking God if I'm ever going to get better. When I got home the woman whose heart I've broken so many times gave me a hug, when I hugged her back I discovered she was wearing something special under her dress. I immediately wanted to cry. Gods grace is overwhelming to me. Being that I wasn't in a good space she got mad at me later because I kept trying to touch it. Incredibly she wore anyone yesterday. I felt like a dog with a hotdog on his nose but I was able to maintain self control. To all you ladies out there whose husband, Satan or anybody else who have convinced you that if you were different they wouldn't need other outlets, let me tell you, my wife is as near perfect as a lady can be and I still seek pleasure elsewhere. Until I'm willing to trust Christ 100 percent I'm going to struggle. I pray for you all and hope you are doing the same for me. Focus on Christ. Luke 17:1 KJV [1] Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him , through whom they come!
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Post by rical on Oct 3, 2017 3:30:48 GMT -7
I did much better yesterday in the abstinence department although I have a long way to go as far as not isolating myself from God and others. Satan went after my wife yesterday, the feeling of powerlessness almost pushed me to use but I choose to put my confidence in Christ instead.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2017 14:48:56 GMT -7
Rical, you were at your most powerful when you put your confidence in Christ. I will keep your wife in my prayers.
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Post by rical on Oct 4, 2017 12:37:06 GMT -7
Thanks every for letting me know you're there. Doing good today (with the exception of my mind drifting in and out) but unfortunately i'm still isolating. I been doing this by just hiding and reading a novel. It helps with the detox but it is only a very short term solution. I can read fiction for hours but have trouble staying with my Bible for more than 5 minutes. I know practice makes perfect so if i make myself spend time in my Bible on a consistent basis, it will become easier, I just need to get consistent. Thank you again for your support.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2017 6:12:30 GMT -7
Have you tried reading the old Testament? Since you love reading novels and some of the old testament is setup in story format it might help with your concentration.
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Post by rical on Oct 10, 2017 19:09:19 GMT -7
Lately I've realized I'm more of a SA than a PA. Putting things in that context help keep me from justifying my actions . When I just look at P, I can say I'm progressing but when I include all the other ways I use to excite myself I see I'm really not doing as well as I think. I know I'm moving forward while at the same time going backwards.
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Post by rical on Oct 22, 2017 18:15:28 GMT -7
I've been able to hold the line lately. Im still playing around but at the same time I haven't gone a far as I did a few weeks ago.i know if I don't stop playing it will only be a matter of time before I fall off the edge again.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2017 14:28:50 GMT -7
I find that when I play around with things, or if I say, "Well I won't let it get too far..." I let the devil get a foothold in my life, and he can use the little things that I do to tempt me to progress. I may not even be doing anything sinful, but I do things that normally end up in my falling.
My Pastor put it (roughly) like this; When you are sitting in the back up a pickup truck, you don't normally sit up against the tailgate and push against it while the truck is driving. That would be stupid. While you maybe aren't falling out of the truck, you are still putting yourself in a dangerous position that really isn't necessary, and it would be smarter to sit as far as you can away from the tailgate.
It's a rough analogy, but you probably get the picture. I shouldn't put myself in stupid positions that usually end in me sinning. I need to get away from everything that might tempt me to sin, and focus my attention on Godly things.
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Post by rical on Feb 1, 2018 5:09:31 GMT -7
Hi everyone, I haven't posted in a while but am still reading what others are posting. I stopped when I noticed this sight had become more of a spouse support. I've definitely been on the winning side of recovery although most days not by much. I downloaded a book called "10 keys to breaking pornography addiction. It's been very transforming. In it I learn to label my problem not pornography, but "compulsive sexually behaviors" . My problem is not media (porn), that's just one of the places my addiction manifests itself. My problem is how I think, look and treat females. I have to constantly tell myself I don't behave like that anymore.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2018 11:28:00 GMT -7
I am sorry you feel this site is more of a spouse support site. I am not sure how I can remedy this. It seems to me that it is cyclical for addicts. They go full throttle for awhile and then drop off where as the spouses are more consistent.
I know I need help but so far no one has stepped up. I have been praying about it. If you have any ideas or suggestions, I would appreciate them. I am willing to try to implement them. just keep in mind that I am not healthy at the moment and be patient with me.
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Post by savedbygrace on Feb 2, 2018 5:41:46 GMT -7
I'm quite new here, but I for one need it to be for strugglers themselves, such as myself. I think we need to find and follow others on the same path, and pray for one another.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2018 20:44:52 GMT -7
I'm quite new here, but I for one need it to be for strugglers themselves, such as myself. I think we need to find and follow others on the same path, and pray for one another. We have areas for both the addicts and the spouses. Mike has always welcomed both sides on the forums and that won't be changing. No area is off limits to either side. You can post in the spouses area and they can post here. We do ask that people respect each other when posting. If there is ever a problem, just let me know. If you are looking for a men's only forum, one of the guys that brought me here started this one http://www.katharosministries.com. He saw the need for one because some men didn't feel comfortable posting things that women could read.
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Post by Will on Feb 6, 2018 23:55:14 GMT -7
Hi guys,
hey Rical that sounds great! Yes have also been blessed to learn how much my problem is in my heart, not in the outside world. Deal with the thoughts and fight against them with the Truth of God as they arrive, and everything else takes care of itself.
There is a lot of spouse support on here but don't think that's a bad thing. Us guys just have to post more I guess! God bless you all!! : )
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Post by rical on Feb 26, 2018 6:51:38 GMT -7
Went on a full course binge yesterday. I've been playing around the edges without truly crossing the line. What primed the pump was looking for vacation spots but what drove me over the edge was looking up a person in the news because of scandalous life style she lead. One thing lead to another and I became "out of control " . Through the Grace of God, I'm back, licking my wounds and hopefully wiser and more trusting and Christ.
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