Post by Deleted on May 20, 2017 11:55:35 GMT -7
Good afternoon everyone,
A short introduction to who I am.
My name is Andreas. I'm 36 years old. Married to a wonderful woman. And I'm addicted to porn.
My wife called me out on my porn addiction about a year and a half ago, and I have been trying to overcome it since. That is not going as well as I would have hope.
In my arrogance and pride I thought that it was something I could beat alone.
Now I'm finally at a place where I have to admit to myself that I have been deceiving and manipulating me and worse my wife.
I'm not watching porn, or masturbating anymore but I'm still skating around the edges of what is appropriate. Hiding behind some strange logic that dictates "If it's not porn it's okay"
Everything finally collapsed Tuesday when my wife kicked me out, and wants a divorce because I once again was looking at highly inappropriate content online. Excusing it with that I found it fun, and good entertainment. I got defiant, arrogant and condescending, not only on Tuesday, but in our following correspondence. Blaming her for my lying and hiding. So now my life is a mess. If my wife wants me back I don't know but I highly doubt it. I have hurt her a lot over the years, even before she confronted me. She has forgiven me so many times that I have lost count, and all I have done is to repay her with my lying and deceiving. Not that it's always been meant that way but when I deceive myself I also deceive her, and I have to take responsibility for that.
I don't know where to begin.
This is not something I can beat alone. I need help.
A short introduction to who I am.
My name is Andreas. I'm 36 years old. Married to a wonderful woman. And I'm addicted to porn.
My wife called me out on my porn addiction about a year and a half ago, and I have been trying to overcome it since. That is not going as well as I would have hope.
In my arrogance and pride I thought that it was something I could beat alone.
Now I'm finally at a place where I have to admit to myself that I have been deceiving and manipulating me and worse my wife.
I'm not watching porn, or masturbating anymore but I'm still skating around the edges of what is appropriate. Hiding behind some strange logic that dictates "If it's not porn it's okay"
Everything finally collapsed Tuesday when my wife kicked me out, and wants a divorce because I once again was looking at highly inappropriate content online. Excusing it with that I found it fun, and good entertainment. I got defiant, arrogant and condescending, not only on Tuesday, but in our following correspondence. Blaming her for my lying and hiding. So now my life is a mess. If my wife wants me back I don't know but I highly doubt it. I have hurt her a lot over the years, even before she confronted me. She has forgiven me so many times that I have lost count, and all I have done is to repay her with my lying and deceiving. Not that it's always been meant that way but when I deceive myself I also deceive her, and I have to take responsibility for that.
I don't know where to begin.
This is not something I can beat alone. I need help.