Boy this is embarrassing !

Deleted
Deleted Member

Posts: 0

Boy this is embarrassing ! May 25, 2016 19:00:46 GMT -7

Quote

Post by Deleted on May 25, 2016 19:00:46 GMT -7

Hi all,
I have to admitted that I am embarrassed to introduce myself here.But then find comfort that many of you have been through the same stuff & have come out openly.I've posted more on the M section too.So let me begin here now:

Hi,I am a christian married man but due to some wrong moves I made in life I became hooked to chatting with women on line.This happens even on christian chat sites.Sometimes I chat all night & it ends up with porn + masturbation or just masturbation.My sex life with my wife hasn't been very good due to Premature ejaculation & such.Added to it she works night.Although we have a good marriage I have not been truthful to her.I have repented over this many times but find myself slipping into this.I have other health issues too that keeps me at home most of the time.I need prayers & counseling.I am hoping this is a christian site as I really need God into this for complete deliverance.The internet itself has become a sort of addiction to me & I need to spend less time on the internet.I was trying to put up a different password for my wifi on the computer I use the most & hide the password in a tough place like my garage so I don't have easy access to it when I want to go online.But it happens that all other phones,tv etc is all linked to one wifi password.If there is a way to have a separate wifi password to my main computer (mac) do let me know.This chat thing has grown over 10 years & I need to come out of this for the glory of God & for my peace & good health

Suggestion:
Coming from a strict upbringing being a PK I had very less association with the opp sex that had made me a pretty desperate person down the road.God bless the women here who are struggling with similar problems,but I somehow feel that when discussing issues related to lust,M,Porn etc it may do better for guys to interact with guys only & women with women so we do not trigger one another of the opp sex in the wrong way.Cos I think a good starting point for lust generally begins with the thought such as 'What is going on in the mind of the opposite sex' & eventually curiosity kills.May I suggest that apart from gay issues,the men deal with the problems of men & like women deal with the problems of women ,unless they are in leadership roles here. -Just my 2 cents/thoughts.

Deleted
Deleted Member

Posts: 0

Boy this is embarrassing ! May 26, 2016 6:51:20 GMT -7

Quote

Post by Deleted on May 26, 2016 6:51:20 GMT -7

Hi jc and welcome to the forums. I understand your wanting to keep the sexes separate. The only thing I can suggest to you regarding this site is that if you only want male opinions to state that in your opening post. This site has always welcomed both sexes on both sides of this issue and that will not change. Both sexes are welcome to post in all forums but most will respect your asking for only male opinions when you ask for that.

There is a link in the resource section to a Men's Only Christian Forums that deals with this addiction if you would like something like that. Kevinskay who is a regular here helps run the site.

I will be praying for you.

KevinesKay
Administrator

Posts: 1,740

Occupation: Balloon Artist
Interests: weight lifting, singing, playing the guitar
Days of Integrity: 1 year

Boy this is embarrassing ! May 26, 2016 15:34:50 GMT -7

Quote

Post by KevinesKay on May 26, 2016 15:34:50 GMT -7

Hey jc,

Thanks for sharing. And I don't think that you should be embarrassed. Most men in your situation would never have the sense to reach out for help. And you did a good thing by coming forward with this, brother. Blazing Grace has been such a good blessing to me from God. He used BG to change my life in a big way. May God change you to.

I hope to hear more from you. Sounds to me like you're ready for a change. Just keep plugging in. We can't do this alone. We have to stick together. God uses other people in our lives as a primary means to speak to us.

It also sounds like you've got some work ahead of you when it comes to setting up some good boundaries for yourself. You deserve a safe home environment. If I were you, I would set up a good plan of action to eliminate the possibility of getting on chat rooms while you're at home. I've had to work at boundaries myself. And I understand how easy it is to fall into sin again when temptation is everywhere. I've blocked FB, Youtube, Google, and I don't even have access to my TV. There's a lock on that too. And even when I use the computer, one of my family members has to put a secret code in. And I'm limited to 2 hours per day. It used to be only 1 hour, but I needed an extra hour to manage the new site we've started. But I can only log in between 12PM - 10PM. Otherwise, my computer shuts down. Ha Ha

Having all of these boundaries can seem like a hassle, but it helps me in steering my life in a different direction. Otherwise, I'd be on the computer all day playing games, checking out FB, browsing Yahoo, viewing Youtube, and starting the old ritual of hanging around sites that are borderline. And that ritual always follows it's course to acting out with P and MB. I would like to know what your plan of action is to protect yourself from further temptation...

Would like to be friends. Please keep in touch.

Kevin

Easypeasymethod.org

Deleted
Deleted Member

Posts: 0

Boy this is embarrassing ! Jul 9, 2016 0:18:55 GMT -7

Quote

Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2016 0:18:55 GMT -7

Hi all,
I am happy in the Lord to share this praise report.I am sure someone here must be praying,so all glory to God.After I posted this by the sheer mercies & grace of God,I made a decision not to go back into the chat rooms or porn rooms.Everyday during the month of June God kept giving me the grace. Honestly I don't now how this happened.Nothing short of a miracle.I kept praying each day that i should not fall.Although it was a pretty busy month & there were other reasons such as health issues & being busy which helped me stay off these evils I know it is nothing but the grace of God.The first few days were tough (after almost 10 years of these addictions) but then everyday I would look at the calendar & keep praising God.
However here is one thing that happened & I share this so that we will never rely on our own abilities or become over confident in ourselves.I fell back on the last day of June ! Although the Lord may not even remember it as he forgets our sins when we ask Him to forgive.Even though I fell that day I was still so excited that God gave me a clear warning about it in a dream.On the 30th morning I had a dream that I was walking on a street ,crossing several houses .And one particular house was very empty & dark inside although it was painted clean outside.And then I began to walk on finding something strange in that house.At the close of the dream I found myself walking back on the same street & approaching the same house & then I woke up.My first thought was about that stage house that stood out in the dream.Immediately I felt God reminding me of this passage in Luke 11: 24When an unclean spirit comes out of a man, it passes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ 25On its return, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. 26Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they go in and dwell there. And the final plight of that man is worse than the first.”…-Anyways I didn't care about it too much & although I felt the urge to pray about it I really did not pray too much about it.With 29 days of clean behind me you can say I got a bit proud about myself.I was sitting to read the Bible that morning & immediately i got a fb message from a girl I should not have added.Well long story short very gradually the temptation grew & that night I fell! I was amazed how subtle & crafty the devil can be & how cautious we ought to be.
SO by posting this I plead to God that i would never more be proud about my spiritual achievements but I give Him all the glory & honor in all humility for the victory He has given me.So whoever you are reading this I want to say there is no shortcut or tricks to overcome this but just humble submission before God that will give you the victory.
I want to say that God is on this site as I have never had such victory in the past.I may not come back to this site except occasionally to post of the future victories in my life which I shall receive by the great mercies of the almighty savior.I think it is healthy for folks like us to avoid the computer as faaaaaaar as possible ! Please continue to keep me in prayers.