Post by setmefree on Feb 18, 2016 16:10:38 GMT -7
Hello to everyone at Blazing Grace.
I discovered this website and registered yesterday. I'm not sure how to begin, so I'll just pour it out. I am 65 years old, married (my 4th wife), and have finally deciding to do something about this monkey on my back, because honestly, I just can't handle the destruction, the deception, and chains anymore. I lost 2 wives to porn, and came within an inch of losing my present wife, who by the way, I've been married to for 13 years, and is the most awesome, Godly woman I have ever known. I'm not young anymore, and I don't want to go out as a failure. I have been addicted to drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and at times, even food. I invited Christ into my life 19 years ago. He mercifully delivered me from all of those addictions, but, I stubbornly hung onto this one. The first time I looked at porn was at the age of 11, and it's been downhill ever since. P and M, as you guys call it, has negatively effected my relationships with wives, my children, work, friends, ...heck, all aspects of my life. My wife (present) has discovered me doing porn at least 3 times in 6 years. Each time, I promised to change, and then lied through my teeth as I continued to sneak it. I have hurt her beyond my ability to really even understand, and she is at the very end of the line with me. I must change my life or I'll lose her. She's sticking by me, but the line is drawn in the sand.
Please inform me of any of the basics I need to know to get this off the ground. Do I need an accountability partner, and how do I get one? Are there additional materials, besides that compelling stuff that Mike writes, that anyone would recommend me looking at? How about any recommendations to help my wife become more informed?
Are there any local support groups in the Johnstown/Altoona region that anyone is aware of? We live in a fairly populated area of western PA, and there, literally is nothing here...no support groups, no church programs...nothing. Nobody in the Christian community talks openly about it. I tried one other time, a few years ago, to join a church sponsored, general "addiction" program. It was pretty lame, and it was definitely more oriented to alcohol/drug abuse than sexual sin. Well, anyway, point is that I just gave up trying to find support. I hope it's different here... Sure looks like it might be.
Anything that might help, from anyone, is greatly appreciated. Thanks mucho!!