Introducing Frank

Hello everyone.



I registered a couple of weeks ago, but as I had some spare time today, I decided to write a few lines to introduce myself.



As a teenager, circumstances out of my control made me aware of my own sexuality much earlier than I should have. As a consequence I tried to create a bubble where I felt I had control over my sexuality; more specifically through masturbation and porn. I have been struggling with this for more than 2/3 of my life.



I met a wonderful woman whom I fell in love with and decided to create a family. When I was single, I used to fool myself into thinking that things would get better once I got married.



It obviously didn't. To begin with, we had problem starting our sexual life together because my body had been trained to react to the stimuli of porn alone. Eventually, one month later, I started going back to mental images "for help", which slowly but surely led me back to browsing for porn in secret.



My wife found out about it. She eventually uncovered a system archive folder on my computer that had traces of my whole browsing history. That day was possibly one of the most shameful moments of my life; yet at the same time I knew there was nothing more hidden, and had finally seen me in full light.



Although it must have been beyond her strength, my wife showed great support despite her suffering by not disclosing my problem to friends or relatives, and by giving me a second change.



We looked for help and we were eventually blessed with a counseling couple who spent time listening with us and trying to help. I have also been following Christian podcasts aimed at recovering addicts, and it is really helpful.



I used to think that no other man had the same struggle, but I now realize that Porn is part of a big-scale plan of the enemy to rob families of their dignity and tear them apart.



I have been sober for 144 days, and now I need accountability with people who are on the path of recovery like myself.