javajake
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Post by javajake on May 31, 2020 9:40:28 GMT -7
How are you doing Amy?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2020 16:23:52 GMT -7
Good days bad days. Today wasn't a good one. I had to deal with the state agency that pays for burial. Brother was disabled and Mom is on social security. One sister that has plenty of money to pay for it won't. Told us to refuse the body and let the morgue deal with it. So we have to use state help to get him cremated. Mom was very upset after the call. Since I am the only one around...guess who gets the backlash?
Then the devil starts in. Pointing out how different I am and how I have to hide who I am and the gifts God gave me...even my church family doesn't understand me. Leadership is telling me not to do things like debate my faith. Debating actually strengthens my faith. Tells me not to try it and pray that the Lord send others into the people's paths to sow seed. What if I am the person the Lord is sending at the request of someone else?
There is really no where I can truly show who I am in Christ. Even on here I am limited.
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javajake
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Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Jun 2, 2020 8:31:18 GMT -7
Sounds messy. This is the time you need your family and it don't sound like that is happening. I pray the Lord surround you with His comfort and love.
To me debating with unbelievers can be exhausting. The only thing you can share with an unbeliever is the gospel. They will never understand anything about our faith till they come to the cross.
You obey what you believe the Lord is telling you to do. Our church families can be messy also.
Praying for you and your family Amy.
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Post by savedbygrace on Jun 3, 2020 7:26:31 GMT -7
Yes, I totally agree. I can understand their concern over pointless arguments, but as believers we are called to vigorously defend our faith. We proclaim truth!! One of the most powerful Christians in doing this, Ravi Zacharias, is now in the very presence of the Lord he loves.
Praying for peace in your home. May God give you the grace to be strong for your Mom and encourage her. Praying for your sisters. May God help your family to find real peace and love in Himself. And now you are the strong one. May God fill you with the strength that only He can give.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2020 17:49:48 GMT -7
Good days bad days. Today wasn't a good one. I had to deal with the state agency that pays for burial. Brother was disabled and Mom is on social security. One sister that has plenty of money to pay for it won't. Told us to refuse the body and let the morgue deal with it. So we have to use state help to get him cremated. Mom was very upset after the call. Since I am the only one around...guess who gets the backlash? Then the devil starts in. Pointing out how different I am and how I have to hide who I am and the gifts God gave me...even my church family doesn't understand me. Leadership is telling me not to do things like debate my faith. Debating actually strengthens my faith. Tells me not to try it and pray that the Lord send others into the people's paths to sow seed. What if I am the person the Lord is sending at the request of someone else? There is really no where I can truly show who I am in Christ. Even on here I am limited. Dear Jesus, Amy is hurting and being misunderstood by family and church too. Please help Amy to share the truth in love so we can be reconciled. Please be the provider that Amy needs in this time since she needs Your help Lord. Amy’s sister is being unloving by not sharing the money to handle the burial of their dear brother too please soften the heart of the sister saying this. Please continue to help Amy’s mom heart and health situation. Please use Amy even her her painful time right now. We are all sinners Lord but even you used us sinners to lead and use our gifts so please give Amy extra wisdom and a special anointing to do whatever you want Amy to do. God I am blessed and other brothers and marriages here are blessed by Amy and the others here. We also need Your love and to feel your love too Lord. Please help and lead Amy where the next step is. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen. Hi Amy, I am sad the church leadership does not quite understand yet what you are trying to accomplish. When I used to work as a US Marine I used to share my faith with my other co-workers. I often got mad and got into apologetics because I was feeling threatened by their anti-Christ remarks. I debated with angry fury eyes wide and used a sharp tongue and said many Christian things but out of anger not in love. This was my mistake. I did this over and over and then I learned that I loved to debate because I felt well ground in this pertaining to the gospel. I debated Catholics, Mormons, those who called themselves Christians but used fowl language too. What I am trying to say is that I should have said things in love and not in anger them I should have realized that if the other listeners were not open to spiritual things I should not have tried to keep arguing and trying to prove it over and over. There is a scripture in Genesis that said that Gods spirit wrestles with people and in Job that God speaks in one person at or two but we might not recognize it. Please don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that you are debating like I was ....but I wanted to share that I understood a little and shared where I messed up so you can compare to your motives. God speaks to you I believe. God speaks to your church leadership too I trust and we sometimes need to discuss our differences but it’s hard because they are in leadership and it seems that any opposing thoughts looks like division but that is not true but we are trying to explain our thought processes. If we have different scriptures organized in our head differently then we will have different interpretations of the Bible. For example, we know Jesus said “Blessed are the peacemakers for they shakes be called the children of God” so if we try to focus on peace and peace when what shall we do when a problem comes? I believe Jesus was telling us to be at peace as much as you can. We pray for God’s help to have peace. We try with God’s help, with our flesh dead, with our old person recognized as dead, to be a jar of clay and let God use us for peace. But we also defend the faith. Jude said for once and for all that was delivered to the saints. We can share our point using scripture and applying it. This is how I am understanding it. God knows your motive so you are good to go.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2020 17:20:04 GMT -7
Thanks Dom.
I have to get my brother's ashes this week. We decided on a small scattering ceremony at a state park Bill loved to fish at. I asked a good friend of mine from church to say something and lead a prayer. She agreed.
I need to speak to my head pastor. The pastor that I had the issues with is her husband. It sounds like he has done this to several others in the church. So she has had to handle it before. I feel overwhelmed with everything going on and just don't want to deal with the church issue yet. I am taking a break from his bible studies on Saturdays and Mondays. I need time and do not need further condemnation thrown my way by what he says.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2020 17:38:49 GMT -7
I know what you mean Amy. When my wife decided to stay home because of Corona and the military law on bases here, we were ridiculed by many in our church. They thought differently than us. God speaks to us through his Word but sometimes we are offended because we see someone else (other than God) try to use God's Word in an unloving manner and that is the most important. Our love of another. I do want to agree with our Pastor once again but I am deeply hurt. My wife was hurt too. The thoughts just play over and over in our head but I have to not listen to it and remember what God wants me to do. Forgive and still keep loving them as I would want them to forgive me and still keep loving me. Anyway, we are listening online still because it's a military rule to wear masks everywhere and check temperatures and we don't feel safe there yet.
Dear God, please give Amy Your good mercy and good grace today. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
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Post by savedbygrace on Jun 8, 2020 11:46:10 GMT -7
Dear Lord, please bring your healing and love to that church. Please help Amy to find strength through Your Word. WE lift up her sisters again to you.... please bring your peace and love to that home. Guide Amy to act with wisdom and love. Please be with her Mom through all of this. Thank you Jesus for hearing our cry! Amen
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2020 6:22:17 GMT -7
I have to pick up Bill's personal effects at the police headquarters and his ashes today. Give me strength Lord. Tomorrow we are having the scattering ceremony.
Thank you for your prayers. The Lord is working.
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Post by Will on Jun 9, 2020 17:28:39 GMT -7
Hi Amy,
praying for you and the scattering ceremony. God bless you!
Love from Will
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2020 17:44:46 GMT -7
Hi Amy, praying for you and the scattering ceremony. God bless you! Love from Will Hi Will, how are you doing?
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javajake
Silver Member
Posts: 382
Occupation: retired
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Post by javajake on Jun 10, 2020 8:51:24 GMT -7
Praying for you Amy. May the Lord strengthen you and hold you up as you go through these trials!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2020 17:39:20 GMT -7
Just starting to get my feet back under me from my brother's death. Now my sister is in the hospital. Her blood count is down to 6. They are giving her a transfusion and going to run tests tomorrow.
I talked with my head pastor today. She straightened out the confusion and confirmed some things the Lord showed me. She also understood my need to distance myself from the other pastor.
I am tired physically. This constant barrage from satan is wearing. I need more time with the Lord.
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Post by Will on Jun 17, 2020 2:59:34 GMT -7
Hi Amy!
Sorry for the slow reply. Yep I'm doing okay thanks. Pretty good with the addiction, but that is revealing new layers of wickedness in myself that acting out usually 'numbs', so that is difficult to deal with. A lot of anger, frustrations, tantrums basically. God is scooping off the dross.
Hope everything goes well with your sister. What Church is it that you are going to now? And who is the 'other pastor'?
Love from Will
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 17, 2020 14:29:02 GMT -7
I go to a faith Christian fellowship church. The other pastor is the head pastor's husband.
The Lord does like to scoop off the dross. Every time I think I am doing well, something pops up and the Lord starts shaping me again.
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