Post by wiltingiris on Jul 22, 2015 14:49:30 GMT -7
psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/01/how-are-female-sex-addicts-different-from-males/
I find that as an abused woman who was molested as a child, and then raped as a thirteen year old, I learned to view sex as a way of feeling love. My first MB was when I was a child. My mom once caught me, but did not say a word. And I was embarrassed but did not know why. She never explained anything to me. She never told me not to do this to myself. After the rape, I lost all sense of value. Because of the Hispanic ways, I kept hearing that when a woman loses her virginity, she loses her value in the sight of God and men. They would often tell me, without knowing my secret, that I was raped, and that I was worth nothing. I thought since God knows, and I lost value in Him, I don't have to be pure anymore. Why try when I have no value? These were just some of the lies in my head. I became suicidal and hated myself. I believed I did not deserve love, but that I needed to be available to please a man and to be able to keep him. I had my first boyfriend at 16. But he broke up with me immediately when he found out I was not a virgin. What an attitude! I then felt truly lost. Unless a man looked at me in lust I felt I had no value. I needed attention to feel that I mattered; that I was special in some way. MB was not a priority for me. I wanted to be with man, but when a man was not available to me, I would resort to MB. MB actually did not consume me. It was very rare for me. I had other problems like homelessness and starvation and a broken home. As a young teen, I was left to fend for myself and many bad things happened to me. Just because I was a love addict, it did not mean I enjoyed being raped and it does not give a man or woman the right to take advantage and hurt a person in need in the streets. When I gave my life to the Lord, I was 19 and my sex life was totally gone completely. I had no desire; I felt new. Neither did I want to MB anymore. I filled my days with worship, prayer and service. I was so occupied with God, that I did not even struggle or think of MB. I have to say the feeling came back later in life when I started to live in sin again by living with a man and having relations with him without being married. I opened my life to sin and opened my life back to my addiction. I am a love addict, and I only believe I am loved when I am desired. I have had to transform my mind with God's Word. I have had to learn to find the value God has placed on me. I do not believe the lies anymore. My life is valuable. Although, I do still struggle with rejection. When my husband rejects me, I can fall in to sin in my mind and start to have trouble again in my flesh. MB can come back when I give room to anger and unforgiveness. When I am in a bad place. No one is perfect in this world. We all need forgiveness. We have to be willing to make the decision to forgive. Our flesh may be weak, but we need to not fall into temptation of hateful feelings. Walking in forgiveness, exercising what Jesus would do. ]
I find that as an abused woman who was molested as a child, and then raped as a thirteen year old, I learned to view sex as a way of feeling love. My first MB was when I was a child. My mom once caught me, but did not say a word. And I was embarrassed but did not know why. She never explained anything to me. She never told me not to do this to myself. After the rape, I lost all sense of value. Because of the Hispanic ways, I kept hearing that when a woman loses her virginity, she loses her value in the sight of God and men. They would often tell me, without knowing my secret, that I was raped, and that I was worth nothing. I thought since God knows, and I lost value in Him, I don't have to be pure anymore. Why try when I have no value? These were just some of the lies in my head. I became suicidal and hated myself. I believed I did not deserve love, but that I needed to be available to please a man and to be able to keep him. I had my first boyfriend at 16. But he broke up with me immediately when he found out I was not a virgin. What an attitude! I then felt truly lost. Unless a man looked at me in lust I felt I had no value. I needed attention to feel that I mattered; that I was special in some way. MB was not a priority for me. I wanted to be with man, but when a man was not available to me, I would resort to MB. MB actually did not consume me. It was very rare for me. I had other problems like homelessness and starvation and a broken home. As a young teen, I was left to fend for myself and many bad things happened to me. Just because I was a love addict, it did not mean I enjoyed being raped and it does not give a man or woman the right to take advantage and hurt a person in need in the streets. When I gave my life to the Lord, I was 19 and my sex life was totally gone completely. I had no desire; I felt new. Neither did I want to MB anymore. I filled my days with worship, prayer and service. I was so occupied with God, that I did not even struggle or think of MB. I have to say the feeling came back later in life when I started to live in sin again by living with a man and having relations with him without being married. I opened my life to sin and opened my life back to my addiction. I am a love addict, and I only believe I am loved when I am desired. I have had to transform my mind with God's Word. I have had to learn to find the value God has placed on me. I do not believe the lies anymore. My life is valuable. Although, I do still struggle with rejection. When my husband rejects me, I can fall in to sin in my mind and start to have trouble again in my flesh. MB can come back when I give room to anger and unforgiveness. When I am in a bad place. No one is perfect in this world. We all need forgiveness. We have to be willing to make the decision to forgive. Our flesh may be weak, but we need to not fall into temptation of hateful feelings. Walking in forgiveness, exercising what Jesus would do. ]