Breaking free from legalistic churches

We've both attended churches where women couldn't  wear pants, makeup, shorts, sandals or even swim in front of other men. I mean they couldn't even go to a city pool or even the beach. And we could ONLY listen to hymns or classical music. Rock, jazz, country and any other forms were forbidden as the devil's music. We couldn't even celebrate Halloween with our children. Going to church every time the doors were opened was demanded. The pastor who married us prayed in front of our peers in Sunday School that we would get our hearts right with God and be there every time the doors were opened b/c we had missed a week long missions confab.  Well, he worked 65 hours that week so that I could stay home.  We moved away a year later after we were married. But my SIL stayed there and she saw him cover up for  a new principal for the Christian school who had some type of an affair with a girl who might have been 17 or 18 who attended the Christian school there. He was fired in front of the whole church and then the congregation was told they weren't allowed to "gossip" about it. No one ever knew what happened and her dad was in a coma, so no charges were ever filed. BJU has just been outed that they have covered up sexual abuse for 80 years and they are a mandatory reporter b/c they are a university. People are coming out in droves saying that they told people at BJU they were molested at church sometimes even my their pastor/father and nothing was ever done about it. They were told just to "forgive and forget." Unreal. I think also the church that was associated with the Christian college I went to in WI was outed on CNN that a certain man who is high up in politics sodomized one kid.  And the college I went to, a female teacher there raped his brother.  These are the churches we went to b/c we were new believers and didn't know any better.  Most of these churches were in the upper Midwest.  Down here in the South, there are more choices about church.  

One church or ministry that I helped for five months believed in spanking babies! I didn't know this until years after I left. He and his wife spanked, or in MO beat their children with a switch or tree branch. They took that verse about the taking the rod of correction literally and zealously tried to beat any sin out of their lives. I know a few of his kids left and never came back. They ran a so-called boarding school for wayward girls and I offered to stay two years as a staff lady. I can say that we were starved with expired food they they got for free. They would pick out the good food when the truck would come every week. That place was nothing but a tax free cash cow. A few years ago, I googled this place and found a website of people speaking out. In one year, there were over 100 girls who had either worked there or spent years there as young teens. This pastor spanked these teens with a switch. I didn't know this until after I left. He needs to be put in in jail and the IRS needs to seize his lands. Or, I would like to see a class action lawsuit b/c many of the girls have had a high incidence of birth defects in their children b/c he gave them hormones w/o their knowledge so they wouldn't have a monthly cycle.   That way, he would get more work out of his slaves.

When I left, he screamed at me that God would punish me for not staying the 2 years I had promised. I have had my testimony sent in to a detective in that area. His free money has greased many palms over the years but he knows his days are number. It took my five months to get over the Trauma and PTSD from working there.  I had lost a lot of weight.  My mom bought me pizza every day just b/c I was craving calories.  

HOW could anyone spank a baby??!! The Gothard movement is into this legalism too I believe.

The other denomination I went to and the SBC has a list too and they rejected a national outcry for them to make a national list of men/women who have sexually abused people in their ministry. We currently go to an SBC that is careful about who they let work with children.    A back round check is done so I felt a little more comfy letting my children get involved with the youth group. My oldest and my middle child did a thing yesterday where they go around and help people with construction projects, yard work or any other help they need b/c they are physically unable to do it themselves. I'm so proud of both of them.

I'm very careful about what I hear from any pulpit. I'm a Berean Christian who studies the Bible for myself and then checks out what others teach.

If you'd like, I can send you the two links where you can read of sexual abuse cover up. The list will shock you b/c in the SBC one, it was up in the hierarchy of the SBC movement where some of these men sexually abused girls in their churches. And/or these men contributed in a conspiracy to cover up this fact.

I think that's why God had John Mark, who wrote the book of Revelation call the End Times church lukewarm. Jesus said these churches will make him sick to him stomach. I think their called the Laodicean church.

Here is Rev. 3

14 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;

15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.

16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:

18 I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.

19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.

22 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.

I was talking to another poster about legalism and here is the definition of it.

Question: "What does the Bible say about legalism? How can a Christian avoid falling into the trap of legalism?"

Answer: The word “legalism” does not occur in the Bible. It is a term Christians use to describe a doctrinal position emphasizing a system of rules and regulations for achieving both salvation and spiritual growth. Legalists believe in and demand a strict literal adherence to rules and regulations. Doctrinally, it is a position essentially opposed to grace. Those who hold a legalistic position often fail to see the real purpose for law, especially the purpose of the Old Testament law of Moses, which is to be our “schoolmaster” or “tutor” to bring us to Christ (Galatians 3:24).


Read more: www.gotquestions.org/Bible-Christian-legalism.html#ixzz3ZqmcH3K7

For me, Christianity is about relationship with God through Christ, and then our earlthy relationships.

All else flows out of this relationship and our study of the Word with the Holy Spirit being our teacher and comforter.