Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2015 8:22:31 GMT -7
Why Men Won’t Seek Help
What keeps you from seeking help with your pornography use? Do you even have a pornography problem? If you watch porn more than once or with any level of regularity regardless if it is monthly, weekly, or daily you probably do have a problem and if you find you can’t resist watching at all you likely have an addiction. Herein lies the hurdle or barrier to seeking help. It’s those words, addiction and problem. No one wants to be identified as having a problem or labeled as an addict – I certainly didn't.
Look, let’s face it. The statistics of men using porn are astounding and staggering and scary and that’s just for men in the church. Something like 50% of men in churches today, and some state it is as high as 80%, view porn regularly. You are not alone but that doesn't help overcome the shame and/or guilt surrounding the issue and for those contemplating seeking help. Is shame or guilt keeping you from seeking help?
Then there are those who think they can beat this problem on their own, by their own strength of will. You have probably told yourself “I can stop watching anytime I want – tomorrow in fact†or “just one more time because I deserve it then no more.†But where do you find yourself hours, days, or weeks later? I am reminded of the verse from Proverbs 26:11 or 2 Peter 2:22 (I’ll let you look those up on your own). Is your own sense of self-confidence or self-control keeping you from seeking help?
Perhaps you hold to the view as some do that there is nothing wrong with a little porn? Who is it hurting? Perhaps you might read or re-read the bible to understand how God views sin. Romans 6:23, Proverbs 11:19-21, Nahum 1:2-3. Are there degrees of sin where some behavior isn’t so bad? You have probably heard the words of Jesus in Matthew 5: 27-28 when he says that even a man who lusts after another woman has committed adultery with her. Is your worldly view of porn telling you its ok and you don’t need to seek help?
How about outright fear? Are you afraid of the consequences if someone knows or finds out you have a problem with pornography? Do you live in fear of someone discovering your little habit in which your world could come crashing down? What if your wife finds out – can you deal with the likely devastating consequences of anger or even divorce? Or, maybe you fear what others will think of you once they know your viewing habits. Read Psalm 56:3-4, Matthew 10:29-30, Hebrews 13:5-6. Does this fear of discovery and its consequences keep you from seeking help?
You may be surprised to learn that you are not alone struggling with any or all of these reasons for not seeking help – do you feel otherwise? I will tell you in that this was a big hurdle for me. Many men feel they are alone facing temptation and this issue with porn. You might feel isolated or unforgivable because you can’t seem to get over your need to keep watching porn. Porn use roots itself in secrecy and once trapped in its clutches you feel like the only guy on the planet who can’t stop. Do you feel like a monster because you are the only one with this issue and who would understand? Take time to read James 1:13-15 here then drop down to James 4:7. Does this secrecy and isolation keep you from seeking help?
Could it be that you have lost your faith or trust that God is bigger than your problem and you don’t believe he can fix you or your depraved heart or that he can’t or won’t overcome Satan’s control over you? Again I point you back to the bible to read the words God has authored to be reminded that He is the one and only God who created the universe and the world with you and me in it complete with our sex drive and worldly passions. Read Isaiah 46:10, Proverbs 16:4, Psalm 103:19. If you doubt His ability or His will in your life it is no wonder you have maybe given up finding help because who else or what else could fix you?
If none of these reasons seem to fit or explain your isolation might it be outright rebellion? Is your pride ruling your responses and refusing to allow you to seek help? Are you somewhat like the prodigal son? So many men today are lone rangers. If you were brought up like myself then you likely were taught to be tough, show no emotion, told to pull yourself up your own boot straps, and no matter how difficult the circumstances and by all means keep it to yourself and don’t seek help. You've heard it said that men don’t ask directions. Is your pride and outright rebellion against God keeping you from seeking help?
A final catch-all reason for not seeking help is that you just don’t care. Call it apathy. In reading his new book, Hide or Seek by New Growth Press, John Freeman says, “We like to pretend we’re okay. We tend to let things slide, hoping it will all get better on its own. But, let me suggest that inaction is action! Doing nothing about my ongoing sexual temptations and struggles with lust is a strategy – one of denial.†Page 16
The point of this article is not primarily to convince you to recognize or accept you have a problem with pornography but most importantly of your need to seek help dealing with your porn problem. Choosing to seek help on your own is far better than waiting until your secret is found out or you are totally destroyed by the consequences of sexual sin. Don’t wait until you have reached the proverbial bottom of the barrel and are busted or fired then facing divorce, homelessness, loneliness, or suicide – oh yes, it has gotten that bad for many men in unrepentant, unconfessed sexual sin. These are just some of the consequences you face not to mention what your family, employer, or co-workers now have to deal with.
When you think life can’t get any worse than having fallen to the bottom of life’s barrel and there is no way out – there is a way out, there is someone to help you. Porn is just as addictive as any narcotic or alcohol and can’t be fought by yourself any more successfully. Reach out and get help, Blazing Grace is here to help. Reach out and ask for help here and do it today!
What keeps you from seeking help with your pornography use? Do you even have a pornography problem? If you watch porn more than once or with any level of regularity regardless if it is monthly, weekly, or daily you probably do have a problem and if you find you can’t resist watching at all you likely have an addiction. Herein lies the hurdle or barrier to seeking help. It’s those words, addiction and problem. No one wants to be identified as having a problem or labeled as an addict – I certainly didn't.
Look, let’s face it. The statistics of men using porn are astounding and staggering and scary and that’s just for men in the church. Something like 50% of men in churches today, and some state it is as high as 80%, view porn regularly. You are not alone but that doesn't help overcome the shame and/or guilt surrounding the issue and for those contemplating seeking help. Is shame or guilt keeping you from seeking help?
Then there are those who think they can beat this problem on their own, by their own strength of will. You have probably told yourself “I can stop watching anytime I want – tomorrow in fact†or “just one more time because I deserve it then no more.†But where do you find yourself hours, days, or weeks later? I am reminded of the verse from Proverbs 26:11 or 2 Peter 2:22 (I’ll let you look those up on your own). Is your own sense of self-confidence or self-control keeping you from seeking help?
Perhaps you hold to the view as some do that there is nothing wrong with a little porn? Who is it hurting? Perhaps you might read or re-read the bible to understand how God views sin. Romans 6:23, Proverbs 11:19-21, Nahum 1:2-3. Are there degrees of sin where some behavior isn’t so bad? You have probably heard the words of Jesus in Matthew 5: 27-28 when he says that even a man who lusts after another woman has committed adultery with her. Is your worldly view of porn telling you its ok and you don’t need to seek help?
How about outright fear? Are you afraid of the consequences if someone knows or finds out you have a problem with pornography? Do you live in fear of someone discovering your little habit in which your world could come crashing down? What if your wife finds out – can you deal with the likely devastating consequences of anger or even divorce? Or, maybe you fear what others will think of you once they know your viewing habits. Read Psalm 56:3-4, Matthew 10:29-30, Hebrews 13:5-6. Does this fear of discovery and its consequences keep you from seeking help?
You may be surprised to learn that you are not alone struggling with any or all of these reasons for not seeking help – do you feel otherwise? I will tell you in that this was a big hurdle for me. Many men feel they are alone facing temptation and this issue with porn. You might feel isolated or unforgivable because you can’t seem to get over your need to keep watching porn. Porn use roots itself in secrecy and once trapped in its clutches you feel like the only guy on the planet who can’t stop. Do you feel like a monster because you are the only one with this issue and who would understand? Take time to read James 1:13-15 here then drop down to James 4:7. Does this secrecy and isolation keep you from seeking help?
Could it be that you have lost your faith or trust that God is bigger than your problem and you don’t believe he can fix you or your depraved heart or that he can’t or won’t overcome Satan’s control over you? Again I point you back to the bible to read the words God has authored to be reminded that He is the one and only God who created the universe and the world with you and me in it complete with our sex drive and worldly passions. Read Isaiah 46:10, Proverbs 16:4, Psalm 103:19. If you doubt His ability or His will in your life it is no wonder you have maybe given up finding help because who else or what else could fix you?
If none of these reasons seem to fit or explain your isolation might it be outright rebellion? Is your pride ruling your responses and refusing to allow you to seek help? Are you somewhat like the prodigal son? So many men today are lone rangers. If you were brought up like myself then you likely were taught to be tough, show no emotion, told to pull yourself up your own boot straps, and no matter how difficult the circumstances and by all means keep it to yourself and don’t seek help. You've heard it said that men don’t ask directions. Is your pride and outright rebellion against God keeping you from seeking help?
A final catch-all reason for not seeking help is that you just don’t care. Call it apathy. In reading his new book, Hide or Seek by New Growth Press, John Freeman says, “We like to pretend we’re okay. We tend to let things slide, hoping it will all get better on its own. But, let me suggest that inaction is action! Doing nothing about my ongoing sexual temptations and struggles with lust is a strategy – one of denial.†Page 16
The point of this article is not primarily to convince you to recognize or accept you have a problem with pornography but most importantly of your need to seek help dealing with your porn problem. Choosing to seek help on your own is far better than waiting until your secret is found out or you are totally destroyed by the consequences of sexual sin. Don’t wait until you have reached the proverbial bottom of the barrel and are busted or fired then facing divorce, homelessness, loneliness, or suicide – oh yes, it has gotten that bad for many men in unrepentant, unconfessed sexual sin. These are just some of the consequences you face not to mention what your family, employer, or co-workers now have to deal with.
When you think life can’t get any worse than having fallen to the bottom of life’s barrel and there is no way out – there is a way out, there is someone to help you. Porn is just as addictive as any narcotic or alcohol and can’t be fought by yourself any more successfully. Reach out and get help, Blazing Grace is here to help. Reach out and ask for help here and do it today!