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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2012 8:59:40 GMT -7
hello ladies,
i am not sure if i can finally post this topic. for some reason i could not post before.
english is not my main language, please ignore my mistakes.
i dont know where to start my story.
i wished he would watch just pornos...i could live with that easily.
he contacted women all over the world...chatting with them, emailing, calling them and..meeting them. as soon as i was not around he would meet women and cheat on me.
he says...he is lusting after other females, he love me, but he cant help it.
he is in the army and went on a mission for 2 weeks....even there..he cheated on me.
belive it or not...after he was finish with her (she was still in the room)...he told me, that he is sorry, he love me, he messed up and he hope i take him back.
of course NOT! i am a wreck now. i am 6 month pregnant and he took all my joy.
why is he doing this? i did everything he asked for...well, i was not down for swinging. but is this a reason to betray me and to cheat on me every time i am not there?
ND |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2012 11:28:37 GMT -7
I think his behaviour is totally unacceptable.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 4:10:23 GMT -7
Hi ND,
I am so sorry for the heartache you are going through. No, you do not deserve this!
Unless he is willing to get intensive therapy, you and your child are better off without him. Porn is the door to this type of downward spiral, and it should never be opened. I urge you to insist, in the future, on the highest standard of purity, body AND eyes only for you.
TruthSeeker
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 8:47:35 GMT -7
Sounds good Truthseeker
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2012 5:13:17 GMT -7
hello guys,
well, at the moment he is ignoring me. we have no contact since 8 days. i wrote him a letter that i am willing to give it another try IF He go to a therapy. i got no answer. he keep adding asian girls on his facebook. i dont even know if he is back from his mission or not. he should return today or very begin of the upcoming week.
he has his belongings here..i dont know what will happen. he will also go back to the states in a few weeks. our plan was he come back after like 3 or 4 weeks to germany. but i guess, everything is canceled by now.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2012 10:24:11 GMT -7
I am not sure, but I guess in general that there might be quite good to put up absolute boundaries and maybe also tell the other person what he/ she can do instead. Just in general.
That might be for self-respect. Such things might be difficult for a child to do to his/ her parents, and for that reason an adult person might think it is difficult to do to other people if he/ she is grown up in a such home that was dysfunctional in one or another way...
When that said, it might be good to let the other person get an alternative, but all those things might come after the wounds are healed?
If it is my responsility to help the other person or not, I am not sure. Maybe it differs. In some cases there might be my job to help someone. In other cases there might not be my job to help them, and if I try to help them when it is not my job, it might only make things worse?
My best.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2012 5:35:19 GMT -7
You wrote him a letter, but you didn't get an answer, and you also say that he is ignoring you.
As far as I can see if that's an attitude that lasts for a long time, he doesn't show you respect and communicate.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2012 10:46:16 GMT -7
update: hello forum, i gave the birth to our daughter by myself 6 weeks ago. he is in the states since 3 months. now he clearly told me he dont want to be with me, he is not in love with me. he asked for a friendship, but i can not do this. i wanted to have more and the whole deal, not just a friend. he put his status on facebook on single which hit me really hard. right after he did the changes, he added women from his area in georgia. so, now here i am....dont know what to do. my pastor tells me to ignore him constantly...to move on. i sent him 2 more emails, but he dont answer me anymore. it looks bad. it doesnt look like he will a change of heart. i am doing not good at all and he knows it. he told me he is not happy being in a committed relationship/ marriage. he wants to be happy. i dont know how to get over this. i pray so hard that i will forget this man, but i still feel horrible...crying myself to sleep every night. i do function like a roboter. i so had hope and faith that he will work on himself (the lusting problem), that he will change his behaviour. but the opposite is the case good night-- |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2012 10:57:41 GMT -7
ND_2012:
Thanks for sharing.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2012 15:46:48 GMT -7
Hi ND_2012,
I am so sorry that he is not choosing to get help. I hope your pastor or a Christian counselor can help you griev your broken dreams for this relationship.
God has given you the beautiful gift of your daughter. He has also given your daughter the incredible gift of you as her mother. You can raise her in God's strength. God may send someone to love both of you, or He may not, but He will never leave you or forsake you. God will take any circumstance we place in His hands and bring peace and joy from it that we could never have imagined while in the midst of the heartache. Let your church family surround you with His love.
Praying for you...
TruthSeeker
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2012 19:16:46 GMT -7
Truthseeker, thanks for sharing.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2012 3:45:39 GMT -7
His behavior is REPREHENSIBLE.
I don't think you can count on this "man" for anything. You will probably have to get the courts involved to secure child support.
There is nothing you can do to change him. In English, we have a saying: "A leopard doesn't change his spots." It means he is what he is and you can't change it.
I wouldn't waste time or energy on him. Devote your time and energy to yourself and your new baby.
My best, Devastated Wife
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2012 11:00:47 GMT -7
Devastated Wife: Thanks for sharing.
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