Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2012 3:55:52 GMT -7
Thanks for responding Devastated Wife. I do know that this is not my fault and that he has probably been an addict longer than I realize. I know that you are right about stepping out of his shadow and start doing things for me. I also hear what you are saying that the man I thought I married does not exist, I am defiantly seeing that now. I went out of town went to the locker and was prepared to take any evidence, but I was not able to get in to the locker. There were to many people around and I would have had to use a bolt cutter so that was not possible. I did go through his car he keeps up there and it was clean I didn't find anything which really doesn't surprise me. The only way now is to do a surprise visit while he is in the motel.I don't know if I'm going to do that or not. You tell me to trust that little voice inside my head, well its telling me he is acting out. But I have no proof, If I confront him I think that he will just lie. The one person that I can talk to tells me its time to give him the benefit of the doubt that he has stopped. I don't trust that he has stopped I'm not sure what to do anymore do I trust in him or do I trust that little voice inside my head or could that voice inside my head be me being paranoid . I'm just feeling so lost and empty inside. Thank you all for your replies it really does help to have people to talk to. Thanks shatteredwife
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2012 4:23:55 GMT -7
Dear Shattered,
If the little voice in your head is telling you he is acting out, chances are he is acting out. Self-doubt kept me from listening to that voice in my head for decades. Cast off the self-doubt. Women are extremely adept at picking up on subtle clues, gestures, smirks, attitudes and assembling them into a picture.....often called intuition, gut hunch. <b>TRUST YOUR GUT.</b> Chances are it's dead on.
Don't obsess over proving it. He will lie, obfuscate, gaslight.....anything to trigger your self-doubt. He uses that against you, you know. Mine did for years. Remember, they are MASTER manipulators. He has learned how to push your buttons and play you like a fiddle. Don't allow it. Turn it around on him. Play along. Let him think he's got you again. While you are playing the part of self-doubting wife, Accept what your gut is telling you. Decide what you are going to do about it. Execute the plan.
My best, DW
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2012 18:38:30 GMT -7
Exactly DW , Game Over
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2012 21:21:08 GMT -7
You tell me to trust that little voice inside my head, well its telling me he is acting out. But I have no proof, If I confront him I think that he will just lie. Shatteredwife; I support you in trusting "that little voice". I disagree strongly with your friend that says you should trust him. That's the same as killing yourself, isn't it? If you trust him so that he shall feel better, that means you are crushing yourself down, isn't it? That means you are not taking yourself seriously? And as far as I can see it is right to take yourself seriously, isn't it? I ask many questions maybe because I struggle to be sure if I can take myself seriously, if I am allowed to that when I am crushed down, ridiculed and so on. I am myself struggling with sex-addiction or sexual sin or temptation or whatever it is called. For me that might be my escape from loneliness, bad feelings ++, but I guess there can be 10 000 ways to escape, i.e food.. The point is I might escape if I feel/ think that I am not allowed to be me, so if I shall not be allowed to trust my little inner voice, I might be sad and want to act out and then I might end up with shame and spiraling downwards.
|
|