where did everyone go?

After being on BG for over a year, and watching people come and go. I've talked with hundred of Christians that struggle with P and MB. And the only thing that I think about why a place like BG will get so few active members is that it's CHRISTIAN. Let me explain,

S*x and addiction are already terms that are highly associated with shame. So finding fellowships, forums, and resources to address these sensitive issues is already challenging enough. But despite that, I was involved with various S-fellowships. And there was really never a shortage of members. I always found people showing up and showing interest to recover.

But I don't think that is true with the church. I cannot explain it. It shouldn't be so, but I firmly believe that Christians in the church still deal with this requirement that says, "I have to be perfect, to be accepted." So church becomes this "new car showroom" where we put on our best suits, act like we're all happy, and there are no problems. We end up not really knowing one another. Because we are afraid that if people knew the deep, dark secrets inside us, no one would love us or accept us. Sure, we'll talk and deal with little sins like failing to pray, or showing up late, or complaining. But when it comes to s*xual sin, we'd rather sweep it under the rug. And if we do bring up an addiction to P and MB, people only want to share so much. They want to deal with it by doing some short quick fix, and move on. Christians are not prepared for the life long battle that P and MB calls for. Nor do Christians really want to be transparent. Transparency is tough, but I know a lot of non-Christians that show this level of transparency that I simply do not find in my church. And believe me, I've looked.

With the new Christian men's site, I've help start, we've run into dozens of men asking for help. But when help arrives, they back out. Maybe Christians want a quick fix. I mean, we pray to God for stuff, he gives it to us, and we're happy and grateful, and then we move on. I know that I wish it was that easy.

And I really don't know what to do about changing this trend. I cannot change the church. And I cannot make these men that want help to stick around. All I can do is love and accept them, right where they are.