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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2009 11:47:47 GMT -7
i haven't been around much lately because since my last slip, i pretty much have not put the brakes back on yet. a good friend is in celebrate recovery and is always reminding me that "we will not change until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of changing". then she will ask, "what would it take to hurt you enough to make you desire to really change? losing your marriage?" as much as i don't want that to happen, why can't i stop myself from going deeper into this addiction?
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Post by john on Mar 15, 2009 14:20:45 GMT -7
One phenomenon I have frequently encountered is that strugglers may not think that they are worthy of recovery. The deep shame that accompanies and fuels sexual addiction brings a deep deception that we are basically unlovable; both by God and by others. When we hear about the vulnerable, intimate relationships with God and others we must build to truly find freedom, it can be immobilizing to our shame...
In such cases, it takes a lot of courage to take those first tiny baby steps. Probably the best help is to get a good Christian counselor to give you a spritual shot in the arm (and maybe a kick in the pants too)! I strongly recommend contacting Healing for the Soul and talk to one of their counselors about your struggles. You can contact them through their website at www.healingforthesoul.org .
Blessings!
John
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2009 22:45:37 GMT -7
thank you, john. i will think about contacting them. you are right, this struggle with shame is a very hard one to overcome.
currently, i am facing a few worrisome situations in my life. of course, the more i struggle with emotions, the more i want to run for a "fix" to ease my pain. gosh, it is so strange to see the cycle that i go through: stress/fear>acting out>guilt/shame>repentance>stress/fear... on and on. even tho i see the things that cause me to stumble and know how to overcome them if i truly wanted, i still manage to allow myself to fall into the pit. i know that when i am tempted, if i turn to god, i do not fall. there has not been a single time that when tempted, if i prayed and read scripture that i did not get through it without acting out. not even once. i fully believe that if i really wanted freedom from sexual sin, i would have already had it by now. so, maybe i have been looking at this all wrong. i guess instead of focusing on why do i struggle with it and why do i feel the way i do, i should focus on asking god to help me deal with the reason(s) why i don't want to be free.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2009 7:25:05 GMT -7
hmm... not doing well at all with my addiction at the moment. i don't really want to go into details, but could use some prayers. needing to handle something that is medically wrong with me and it is causing a lot of stress. not that it is an excuse for my behavior, but stress is my biggest trigger. thanks in advance for them. sam
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2009 13:02:26 GMT -7
Hi Sam,
Just prayed. Reminded God of the promises He makes to heal you (Isaiah 53) and of course Psalm 103 and others.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2009 16:14:10 GMT -7
Praying for you Sam.
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2009 1:52:56 GMT -7
i have finally reached a point to where i see that i cannot handle this addiction on my own anymore. i need to get into counseling. this, however, is yet another challenge since with the shaky economy, finances have been highly strained at home of late. i know that god will provide a way if it be in his will for me. could still use your prayers my brothers and sisters, i have sunk to depths in this addiction that i never dreamed possible. thanks.
sam
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Post by john on May 12, 2009 2:13:03 GMT -7
I definitely recommend checking out www.healingforthesoul.org and let them know what your financial constraints are. They have excellent telephone-based counseling, coaching and groups.
John
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2009 2:15:57 GMT -7
I feel your pain. When you say you have sunk further, is it just M or are you using online stimulation and porn to fuel this as well?
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2009 1:46:10 GMT -7
well, i did it! i finally made an appointment with a christian counselor about an hour away from home. i know that if i continue on the path i am on, it will only lead to the destruction of my family and i cannot risk that. i feel really good about taking this huge step. i just fear that i am doing it too late in my battle. we will see, i guess.
sam
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Post by john on May 14, 2009 1:47:14 GMT -7
I am always very blessed to hear about people, like yourself, taking steps to heal. Way to go!
John
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2009 2:20:16 GMT -7
Hi Sam,
That is wonderful news!
Remember that nothing is impossible with our all-powerful Lord.
TruthSeeker
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2009 7:13:57 GMT -7
hello all, i really need you guys to be in prayer for my husband right now. if you are familiar with my plight up to this point, you know that i have recently gone farther than ever before with my addiction and that is what spurred me into going for counseling. i knew that my addiction and my life were completely out of control. i didn't admit it before on here because i didn't want my hubby to see exactly what i had done. however, god has really been convicting me about coming clean with him about my indiscretions. i had an affair. i have been playing with fire so long flirting online, doing nude pics, and having phone sex. i really thought i was too smart to go too far with it. then, as my life seemed to hurdle out of control in several different areas, i met a guy online from my hometown. it started off innocent enough, but like i always tend to do, i started pushing the envelope and before i knew it, this guy wanted to see me. in person. i told myself that it was fine, it was only a little harmless meeting... but honestly, deep down i knew it wasn't. yet, i couldn't stop myself. i met him and we had sex. immediately, i was consumed with guilt and remorse... but, it happened and there is no taking it back. not ever.... anyway, i went to my counseling session and it was very good. my counselor didn't even suggest i tell my hubby. but i knew from the moment i did what i did, that i could not keep this from him. i told him about it yesterday. i have never wanted to die so bad in all my life as when i saw the horror and pain in his eyes. please, please pray for him. he said that he still loves me and that he wasn't going to leave me, but i know the pain he is in right now is eating him alive. sam
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2009 9:03:26 GMT -7
Thanks for sharing, sam, I'll be praying too.
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2009 10:56:01 GMT -7
Hi Sam,
I'll be praying for you and your husband. Always remember with God nothing is imposible.
No sin that He can not forgives,
No bondage that He can not sets you free,
No chain that He can not unshackles,
Because there is power in the blood of JESUS!
He is willing and able to help. But before He will become involved and release His divine energy into our situation, He requires one thing: A righteous heart.
Don't give up.
Amor
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