Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2009 3:04:22 GMT -7
Sam,
Am sharing your joy.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2009 5:02:15 GMT -7
i am happy to report that i have been doing well the last several weeks. trust me tho, the enemy has attacked me full force during my victory, but i see the truth. i see that it is an attempt by the dark world to lure me away from my true love. the one who desires me with a passion that cannot be compared to anything anyone else has for me. the one who loves me and made me just like he wanted me. 43 days, no chatting... still going strong! i have even managed to cut back on masturbation as well. praying that i can soon reach a point to where i no longer do that nasty little habit.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2009 6:59:26 GMT -7
Hi Sam,
Hurray!!! I'm rejoicing with you!
I pray that yu never lose sight of the enemy's schemes, recognizing each for the lie it is.
TruthSeeker
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2009 9:59:16 GMT -7
Oh Sam,
I am soooo happy! I don't know how I will tell you or express to you how I feel right now but deep inside I am happy for you.
Lord, thank you, thank you!
God is our true source of victory.
Sis, we are always with you in prayers. Truthseeker is right. The enemy will do everything to sidetrack you, to keep you out of focus but please always fix your eyes to JESUS, the author and finisher of our faith.
Also, if you can pray for me. Please pray for my husband that he will be set free from this bondage of sin (pornog/sexual addiction) and that he will come to the saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
God bless.
Amor
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2009 2:56:01 GMT -7
thank you both for your encouragment. it means more to me than i can ever express in words!
day 45..... "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak", my how true those words have proven to be.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2009 3:06:28 GMT -7
well, two full months with no sex chatting nor pics. i never thought that this freedom would feel so good! i have come very close time and again to giving in, but there has just been something deep inside me that manages to stop me right before i fall. i am so thankful too!
there are other things that i need to work on for my recovery. i still m pretty much on a daily basis and every time i do, i think about things that are wrong. i think about having sex with ppl other than my hubby. also, when we have sex, i still talk about things that have no place in my mind, let alone in my bed... i think since i have been this way for so long now, it is just so ingrained into my sexual pattern with him. not only do i feel it necessary to help me climax, i feel like he expects this from me. i know i need to talk about it with him, but right now, i am just reluctant to.
i also am battling a fear about breaking my addiction. i am completely terrified that once i am free from being addicted to sex, that i will no longer even want it. my goodness, i don't want to live like that. sex is amazing and beautiful, to not even desire it anymore is scary to say the least. ugh! why is this so hard?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2009 5:09:56 GMT -7
Hi Sam,
I am rejoicing with you in your freedom from chatting! :-)
There is absolutely no reason why freedom from compulsive behavior would affect your choice to be intimate with your husband. In fact, I would not be surprised if you find it easier to be satisfied with him once you are no longer draining that energy on your own, likely reducing the "need" for extra verbal "incentive."
I know that the conversation with your husband will be a challenge, and pray that God will give you the wisdom and timing for it.
A despicable media lie that both men and women have fallen for is that if a woman does not have a fireworks experience every time, the man has not "done his job." The truth is that some women, perhaps many, may not want to have to "perform" every time, preferring to simply bask in the joy and intimacy of the embrace, being loved and appreciated in the union. Even if we are feeling more passionate, there is no shame in a streak of lightning instead of a grand fireworks display.
Sexual intimacy is about oneness with our husbands, which may or may not always include the same physical sensations.
Great going! Keep in tune with God's Spirit.
TruthSeeker
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2009 9:04:01 GMT -7
2 months down the drain. really tired of fighting.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2009 14:56:18 GMT -7
Sam, Please, please do not let the enemy convince you that the two months of victory is nullified by a hard day. You still have about 60 of the last 61 free, and that is wonderful progress! Please do what you know you need to do with the computer. That beautiful road did not evaporate because you stumbled off to one side. Even if there seems to be a ditch there, the road is just over the rim, and God's grace places you right back on it. It is worth it!
Praying for you... TruthSeeker
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2009 16:31:31 GMT -7
Oh Sam,
Don't give up! You can do it girl.
Because you are a child of the most high God. Our right to live victoriously is in His Son Jesus. The enemy is really scared, so scared that if you will be compeletely free, you will be living 100% for Jesus.
Sis, keep on going. Keep on fighting.
You know what? Sometimes I tell the Lord that I am also tired of fighting for my husband. Why should I care for him? If he wants to ruin and be drowned with his addiction. So be it. But you see, I see him in the eyes of Jesus. I feel the heartbeat of God, how he longs for my husband to be saved. I can not disobey my Lord just because I focus on my pain.
Be positive. Keep your faith strong in the Lord.
Trust Him completely. Let your devotion to our Lord deepen so you will be able to face each day's challenges with courage and determination.
Let close me with a prayer:
Dear Father,
Truly the most important treasure in life is a relationship with Your Son.
Pleasure, power and possessions are no sbustitute for Your great love.
Thank You, we have redemption,
Thank You, we have eternal life,
Thank You, we have peace in our heart and mind,
Thank You, because You saved us.
Please help Sam. Cover her with the blood of Jesus, the powerful blood of Jesus, the great blood of Jesus, the holy blood of Jesus. Let her feel the warmth of Your love, Your love that is beyond compare. Nothing in this world matches Your great love. Because You are the only One who sincerely and genuinely loved us.
In Jesus' name. Amen
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2009 10:01:16 GMT -7
Praying for you Sam.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2009 8:05:05 GMT -7
thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement. i have really needed it!
i think i am doing a little better overall. i have not acted out since last week, but i am hesitant to say that i am sober right now. i think i am just afraid of that word. i don't know. i am certainly afraid to fall again. i hate that!
i do have good news. my h has been free to chat with me on fridays and i set him up with an account. anyway, i didn't do it with the desire to sex chat with him, it was only so we could talk during the day and plan a few things. anyway, today was the first day that he got on there and it was so much fun. it started off with run of the mill stuff, then i started flirting with him.... the next thing ya know, we are having a pretty steamy conversation! i was so thrilled. he enjoyed it too... a lot! i don't feel guilty at all, plus, i feel like i got the attention that i crave. which is totally weird, he gives me all the attention that anyone could ever need! so, i don't know why this little difference made such an impact on me, but it did. i am over the moon! i don't really think that this was "acting out" since it was my hubby... but i guess i am a little worried that maybe it was. certainly if it had been, i would feel ashamed like i always have in the past. anyway, please let me know what you think. i really do need to understand if what i did was wrong... and to be honest, sometimes i have a hard time seeing where that line dividing right and wrong is anymore.
thanks! god bless you guys!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2009 11:22:07 GMT -7
Sam,
Good to hear of your progress.
Anything privately between husband and wife is nobody else's business. I don't think you're doing wrong but then I don't know (and rightly so) the content of your loving missives.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2009 13:21:59 GMT -7
Hi Sam,
Generally, I would tend to agree with Guitarist63. The only thing that concerns me is that it is so similar to what you actually struggle with. I guess my opinion, and that's all it is, is if it makes you less likely to act out, it is beneficial. If acting out is the same or worse, it would not seem to be helping. As long as your very specific husband is in your mind as you chat with him, not some fantasy person, I think you are on safe ground. You must be completely honest with yourself, though, to be absolutely certain.
Just my two cents.
TruthSeeker
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2009 11:01:48 GMT -7
thanks for your input there my friends. i appreciate it.
a quick update on me, i have acted out some online. i hate that i even struggle with this stuff. but, there it is. always in the back of my mind. always lurking. no matter how many times i tell myself that i am not going to give in, i still manage to do the stuff i hate. a huge part of why i don't come here as much as i used to is because i am sorta tired of fighting it and i am extremely tired of admitting when i fail. however, i know that the more i keep it a secret in my life, the stronger the bondage i have to this sin.
i trust that one day i will be delivered from the desire to commit sexual sin, i just hope that day is this side of heaven.
|
|