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Post by Steve on Dec 1, 2005 10:58:25 GMT -7
Matt, I've read Out of the Shadows and while I won't not recommend it, I thought it was way too basic and really didn't give a lot of practical tips and ideas to help your typical male sex addict. Also, he really didn't talk a lot about some of the basic stuff that an average male experiences with pornography addiction. Carnes does deserve lots of credit though, for his was the first major book that covered sexual addiction in general. As for False Intimacy by Harry Schaumburg, I've never read it but I've only heard good things about it. The term "false intimacy" in itself tells me it's probably a good one. That's what pornography addiction and sexual addiction is all about. -Steve
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2005 23:33:01 GMT -7
I started reading "Breaking Free" last night. Just the Foward, intro, and first chapter were great.
I never gave credit to my past until recently. Being exposed to pornography so young, and also having emotionally withdrawn parents.
I look very foward to continuing the journey through this book.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2005 0:37:08 GMT -7
Q,
That has been something very difficult for me to deal with. I never wanted to give the credit to my parents for screwing up my life, plus I'm an adult and make my own decisions. I have learned that its not their fault that I'm an addict, but they did play a role. They cultivated an environment that was condusive to creating an addict. I have two brothers, neither of whom are addicts, that I know of, although they do have other issues, so it couldn't have been entirely my parents fault. Part of it also, was how I chose to deal with pain in my life. I chose to medicate.
Just realizing that my parents, and my past played a role in my addiction, was a difficult barrier to cross.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2005 6:13:57 GMT -7
Matt,
yeah same here....my parents have been very good parents. They've done a lot for me, and did so many things right that have really developed who I am today.
But they were never there emotionally I guess. But as I think about what little I know of their family history, and how they cope with things even now.....I see that was how they were raised too. They've both made a huge difference in how we were raised compared to the way they were raised....for the better.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2005 6:15:57 GMT -7
Captivated maybe you can answer me on this one....or anyone who can.
I want to read a book that covers healing for the spouse of the addict. Its difficult for me to understand all that my ex-fiance is feeling at times. And its hit and miss guesses at trying to make things at all better.
Thanks a lot.
- David
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2005 7:28:26 GMT -7
David, I will think and pray on it and get back, but Wild at Heart was helpful....reading the Psalms....worship music...people, etc...... I'll let you know of more later!
captivated
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2005 8:13:30 GMT -7
Thanks a lot....yeah Wild at Heart is wonderful....Im mainly wanting just something that will help me understand the woman's perspective of the pain and what has been done.
Thanks Again!
- David
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Post by mike on Dec 2, 2005 12:54:40 GMT -7
Living with Your Husband's Secret Wars, by Marsha Means
An Affair of the Mind, by Laurie Hall
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2005 13:30:13 GMT -7
Thanks a lot Mike!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2006 1:31:10 GMT -7
I mentioned in the accountability thread that my wife and I have begun listening to a book on CD called Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerich. The book discussed how men's deepest need is respect and women's is love. It was an amazing experience to listen to this and begin discussing how this effects our communication. I highly recommend it.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2006 4:00:37 GMT -7
Where's the best place to purchase this on CD?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2006 17:08:11 GMT -7
Reading "Every Man's Battle" I recommend this reading for men (and for women too-mainly for the understanding of what men truly have to deal with). My understanding of how men have to deal with the sexual oriented society in which we live has greatly increased by reading this book.
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